And You (I) Thought I Would Never Post Again...

But, I will. At least for now, as I always say. So much to say, but don't want to be on the computer during the time I get to relax, sleep and read. So, random notes...

1. Derek and I saw The Visitor this weekend. First, we saw it thanks to Brenna's willingness to spend the afternoon with Kai. We're eternally grateful. The movie was thoughtful and insightful. It is not a fast paced movie, so you have to be wanting to pay attention to the emotion and subtleties and nuances. But if you do pay attention to those, it is a wonderful movie. It makes a large statement (in a very soft manner) about this country's immigration policy, as well as having nice story lines about love, friendship, loss, and passion (or lack there of). Oh, and it has Haaz Sleiman. I am now in love with him.

2. Did I say thanks to Brenna? It was the first time we left Kai with non-family (my parents had both babysat for us when they were here). And I was not in the least bit nervous or apprehensive. I knew she would treat him like family. And she did.

3. Did I ever mention before that Derek - love him though I may - can't breath and listen at the same time? He literally can't. However, he has made a concerted effort to LISTEN to me since Mother's Day. He is apparently holding his breath every time I talk. As he should. And which I greatly appreciate.

4. I am reading The Story of Forgetting, by [can't remember his first name] M. Block (a resident of my neighborhood in Brooklyn, by way of Plano, Texas). I am about 1/3 the way through, and it is excellent. It uses a number of connected narratives to tell the story of two families affected by early onset familial Alzheimer's. The narrators of each have great, interesting, even funny (despite the brutal sadness) voices. By probing into Alzheimer's and its impacts on those that suffer from it (the diagnosed victims as well as their families), it also talks about theories of happiness and evolution. It is very well constructed. I could go on -- I'd highly recommend it. It is turning out to be the best book I've read since Half of a Yellow Sun (and totally different, as well). One reason I am rushing through this is to go read some before I feel guilty and stupid for not sleeping.

5. Speaking of authors that live in my neighborhood, a guy that I went to high school with (graduated a year before me?) lives here too, and is a published author -- Matt de la Pena. I've run into him twice. The last time I said hello, it turns out he was with his girlfriend, his parents, hand her parents. Love intruding on the extended family gathering when you barely know someone. But silly not to say hi when you run into someone from Encinitas in Brooklyn!

6. Kai is growing. He smiles, he talks, he laughs with no sound. He cries. He sticks his lower lip out to pout. His hair is a mess. He gazes at Derek when he reads to him. He loves to "stand" while we hold him. He rolls over from his tummy to his back. He cries. He doesn't sleep through the night. I love him.

7. I go back to work in a little over a week - the Tuesday after Memorial Day. I have been totally emotion-less about this. I think b/c I haven't let myself think to much about it, but just enjoy this time. Despite what I had always thought, I would love to stay home (for a while longer, at least). Part of that is due to how much I enjoy motherhood. Part of it is due to how much I enjoy NOT having the stress of my job. The daily emergencies. The fire drills. The arguing and worrying over and working on things that, at the end of the day, don't make the world a better place. The pressure. The politics. The business suits. I haven't been stressed at all over anything that doesn't matter, and I love it.

7.5 I got some new jeans from Banana Republic. I love them. I wear them all the time. I realized I should have bought two pairs. So I went online to buy another pair. They don't have them anymore. Thank god I got them when I did.

7.7 I bought a dress for a wedding for this summer today. I hope it fits (at least by the time of the wedding). I saw it on Nordstrom.com. They are out of stock. I randomly googled it. An eBay seller was selling the dress, in my size. So I made my first eBay purchase, partialy relunctantly because I sort of hate eBay. I really hate it. But I wanted this dress. And the seller had my size! And I am sure I'll look just like this model, but with my face and hair:)



8. I had like 8 other things I was going to say, but I can't remember. Oh, Deuce still has a bit of bulimia due to nerves. He is not nervous with the baby at all. He is very very good with him and appears to love him. But in the morning, if I am still in bed when he gets back from his morning walk, he throws up all his food. In addition to making sure I get out of bed to greet him, no matter what, we are working on making sure there are no other triggers that make him nervous. Poor guy. But if we make it through that 2 minute window (return from his walk, eat, I greet him), he is at total ease the rest of the day. I wish I could jump into his mind.

9. And, i remembered. Sleeping through the night. We briefly tried "crying it out" last night (after hearing about it from so many, too many people). We aren't trying again. I think the theory sucks. Kai's sleeping fairly well (good number of nights with 5 hours straight, occasional 6+, but some night of just 2-3 hours every now and then). Anyway, even if he wasn't, I think it still sucks. You know, my grandparents (dad's side) raised 12 kids. I am 99% confident that all the kids eventually slept through the night and they never did the "cry it out" technique. Unless they were simply too exhausted to hear the kid or the other 11 kids were so noisy that they inadvertantly let the baby cry. My grandparents (mom's side) raised 5, and same thing. And my parents raised four, and they never made us cry it out. Unless they were busy fighting or screaming at each other (they were very very very young parents) and didn't hear us. And we all, eventually, slept through the night quite soundly. Anyway, luckily, Derek and I agree on this. Babies aren't supposed to talk at 3, 4, 5, or 6 months. They aren't supposed to walk at that time. They aren't supposed to know the Final Jeopardy answer. And they aren't supposed to sleep 8-10 hours straight. SO when Kai wakes up in 2, 3, 4, 5, or -- universe willing -- 6 hours, I'll be picking him up and feeding him.