So I asked some friends and family to give me one word that describes me. I have to say, it made my Monday a little better than most Mondays. It reminded me of the story where the teacher had every student in her class right one word to describe each of their classmates, and she later found out that most of the students kept their "list" their entire lives. It does feel good, of course, to have nice things said about you. And it also feels nice and redeeming to see that others see how how you see yourself, and sometimes even better.
My mom described me as "positive." I loved this because I do try to be positive - it is a quality that I am not sure comes naturally, but that I have always wanted.
From various friends, I received "compassionate," "vibrant," and "intellectual." I see myself as the first - sometimes painfully so - and "vibrant" is one of those descriptions where your friends see you in a better life than you see yourself. Flattering!, especially from someone who herself is so vibrant. "Intellectual" made me laugh, because it came from a friend who perpetually used all my notes in college (yes, that might be why he considers me a friend). During a conversation with him the other day, I couldn't remember the words "door knob" or "hinge" when we were talking about doors (ie, changing the knobs and hinges in our apartment). So I am not sure if he was being sarcastic or serious:) I also got "surprising" -- which I took as a compliment (and then copied, and said about one of my friends).
I was called, "vivacious," which I loved and actually looked it up to pinpoint all the things it encompasses. Of course, it came from a writer who knows the strength of certain words - so was also flattering.
I was called "grounded" and "down-to-earth." I love both of those descriptions. Because I see myself as such, it was nice to know that others not only see that in me, but respect it! However, I did remind my friend that said "down-to-earth" that the phrase is three words, not one. We argued whether the dashes changed that fact, and I won the argument. He then called me "sore-loser," which I reminded him was two words, then "know-it-all," which again was three, then "b****." This is the kind of affection I love from some of my male friends.
And, as for the words I gave my friends and family so far....caring, inspiring, dynamic, beautiful, fun, thoughtful, witty, surprising, solid, integrity, deep, generous, insightful. I learn my good qualities from all of them!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Thoughtful Saturday.....
In the process of downloading music to our new computer, I've become very emotional the past few days. Well, okay, PMS is contributing, but the music is the major factor! It is, I swear. I've had so much fun getting all the music that I love listening to...and for those of you who know me well, you know that I love love-songs. I am addicted to them! Needless to say, there has been a lot of downloading of lots of slow, emotional, painful, beautiful songs. And it reminds me of driving my car, listening to KYXY love songs in San Diego, or the equivalent in New York (106.7). And I love it.
I've also listened to some songs that I haven't listened to in a long while...and it reminds me how much I like them. Love them, actually. Some of my favorite highlights so far are: (1) The Sweetest Thing - Sade, (2) Just Once - James Ingram, (3) Beautiful Disaster - Randi Driscoll, (4) I Just Want To Be (Your Everything) - Andy Gibb (which, by the way, was the first concert I ever went to when I was 5 years old...Andy Gibb...with my mom, her friend, and my sister), (5) Never Again - Justin Timberlake, (6) Collide - Howie Day, (7) 100 Ways - James Ingram, (8) The Promise - Tracy Chapman....silly of me to list these, because now I want to list the 100 others I am thinking of too.
And then there is "What Matters" by Randi Driscoll. Randi Driscoll has two albums out -- one that she basically produced herself, and the other that was recently released by an independent record label. She has an amazing voice, and many are surprised that she has never been picked up by a major label. In any event, she wrote this song in response to the Matthew Shepherd killing - and proceeds of the song go to a charity set up in honor of Matthew Shepherd (I hope I am not getting his name wrong). It asks, simply, does it matter who each of us love?
When I was a freshmen in college, I briefly dated a guy named Scott who was (is) black. At the time, of course, my parents were 3000 miles away and couldn't just get what was going on in my love life by observation, as they had during high school. When I told my parents about him - I think they gathered that he was black, I am not sure I told them directly. My dad simply asked me, "So, is he nice to you?" I said yes, and he said that was all that mattered to him. It wasn't all that mattered - it bothered him, I would later find out - but that was the only thing he wanted to matter to him. Whether his daughter was being treated well.
The conversation didn't really every come up again. My other boyfriends/love interests/crushes, both before and after Scott, were white for the most part -- certainly any of those that I got into a real relationship with. Then I met Derek. And again, when my dad met Derek, he only said he cared that Derek treated me well. Then he got to know Derek - and over time, I suppose, that really did become all my dad cared about.
Years into my relationship with Derek, my dad said to me that I've taught him so many things. I forced him to open his mind in ways he never thought he would. Mind you, I didn't know I was doing this. He never said one negative thing to me about any guy I dated - including Scott or Derek. I was just falling in love with guys that were nice, funny, kind, and good looking (and, yes, the occasional a**hole). Derek was no different than Julius when I was 14 or Cameron when I was 17 or Kurt when I was 21 or John when I was 23-- he was just black, they were white. My dad said that even though he felt certain negative things about his daughter being in an inter-racial relationship, he didn't want to feel those things. So he forced himself to grow up, to open his mind. And then as he got to know Derek, he realized (his words) that he couldn't ask for someone better for his daughter. Okay, maybe Derek could have been a millionaire, but we'll forgive him that. But from my dad's perspective -- and mind you, I am my dad's little girl -- Derek treats me like a princess. And on top of that, he is just really nice to everyone else too. My dad always knew what mattered, and he worked at adopting beliefs he knew were right. For that, I admire him. And I appreciate that he fought against the beliefs that surronded him, beliefs that maybe others of his generation wouldn't have questioned. I appreciate that he never let me know anything but what did really matter. I appreciate that my grandparents - both sides - raised my parents to be as open minded as they are and taught them to care about what does matter - treating people well.
In 1967, when Derek was two years old, it was illegal in some states for people of different races to marry. It was illegal for Derek and I to get married. Illegal for my friend Tom (of Korean decent) to marry Kelly (who is white). It was illegal for a Mexican-American to marry someone who was white. The only person who could marry someone white was someone else who fits that ill-defined but ever important defintion of "white." In 1967, the Supreme Court ruled that such prohibitions on marriage were unconstitutional. I wonder how we can possibly be having this same debate today. Yes, denying the right of marriage to people based on their skin color, their sexual orientation, their economic class, their nationality -- it is unconstitutional. Is it so hard for us to figure this out?
None of my friends, but some random acquaintances (or cousins!) have asked me, "What is it like dating a black man?" Inside, I roll my eyes in disgust and curse at their ignorance, while, in reality, I control my tongue and say "I only know what it is like to date nice guys. Derek's one of them." Then I remind myself when I am thinking how ridiculous these people are that even Oprah -- yes, Oprah -- lowered her special on "inter-racial couples" to asking quesstions like whether the sex was different, what it was like to eat soul food, and basically the "what is it like" question in diffferent forms. Yes, we have our differences - we have different backgrounds. Different families. Different habits. Different ideas. Different desires, different tolerances, different thresholds for pain, intimacy, annoyance, noise, emotion. Sounds like pretty much every couple you know, huh? My marriage is unique like every couple's is unique, and has the same commonalities (is that a word? i want it to be) as other couples' relationships.
A friend of mine from college, who is gay and lives in LA, was visiting NY a couple months ago. We all went to dinner, and he was telling us (Derek and I) about a date he went on with a guy here in New York. He was talking about the first date jitters, the nerves, the butterflies in his stomach. He was debating what his next steps should be - should he call? Should he wait for the call? He was surprised at how much he liked (likes) the guy. Derek and I gave easy advice -- call him! -- but we realized it was easier said than done. We couldn't really relate. Not because we aren't gay -- because we have been fricking together since 1997. We haven't been at the beginning of a relationship since October of 1997! On our walk home, when we thought back to 9 years ago -- we remembered those feelings so vividly. In fact, Derek did go through the debate, "Should I call her? Should I wait for her to call?" He debated and couldn't reach a decision, so he called me and hung up when I answered!!! (Yes, he did, and I totally knew it was him at the time, and I thought it was cute and vulnerable. But annoying:)).
So that is all why this downloading all my favorite songs is very tiring and emotional. I am know trying to find "Sometimes When We Touch" by Dan Hill. How can that song not be on iTunes?? I need to go focus my search....
I've also listened to some songs that I haven't listened to in a long while...and it reminds me how much I like them. Love them, actually. Some of my favorite highlights so far are: (1) The Sweetest Thing - Sade, (2) Just Once - James Ingram, (3) Beautiful Disaster - Randi Driscoll, (4) I Just Want To Be (Your Everything) - Andy Gibb (which, by the way, was the first concert I ever went to when I was 5 years old...Andy Gibb...with my mom, her friend, and my sister), (5) Never Again - Justin Timberlake, (6) Collide - Howie Day, (7) 100 Ways - James Ingram, (8) The Promise - Tracy Chapman....silly of me to list these, because now I want to list the 100 others I am thinking of too.
And then there is "What Matters" by Randi Driscoll. Randi Driscoll has two albums out -- one that she basically produced herself, and the other that was recently released by an independent record label. She has an amazing voice, and many are surprised that she has never been picked up by a major label. In any event, she wrote this song in response to the Matthew Shepherd killing - and proceeds of the song go to a charity set up in honor of Matthew Shepherd (I hope I am not getting his name wrong). It asks, simply, does it matter who each of us love?
When I was a freshmen in college, I briefly dated a guy named Scott who was (is) black. At the time, of course, my parents were 3000 miles away and couldn't just get what was going on in my love life by observation, as they had during high school. When I told my parents about him - I think they gathered that he was black, I am not sure I told them directly. My dad simply asked me, "So, is he nice to you?" I said yes, and he said that was all that mattered to him. It wasn't all that mattered - it bothered him, I would later find out - but that was the only thing he wanted to matter to him. Whether his daughter was being treated well.
The conversation didn't really every come up again. My other boyfriends/love interests/crushes, both before and after Scott, were white for the most part -- certainly any of those that I got into a real relationship with. Then I met Derek. And again, when my dad met Derek, he only said he cared that Derek treated me well. Then he got to know Derek - and over time, I suppose, that really did become all my dad cared about.
Years into my relationship with Derek, my dad said to me that I've taught him so many things. I forced him to open his mind in ways he never thought he would. Mind you, I didn't know I was doing this. He never said one negative thing to me about any guy I dated - including Scott or Derek. I was just falling in love with guys that were nice, funny, kind, and good looking (and, yes, the occasional a**hole). Derek was no different than Julius when I was 14 or Cameron when I was 17 or Kurt when I was 21 or John when I was 23-- he was just black, they were white. My dad said that even though he felt certain negative things about his daughter being in an inter-racial relationship, he didn't want to feel those things. So he forced himself to grow up, to open his mind. And then as he got to know Derek, he realized (his words) that he couldn't ask for someone better for his daughter. Okay, maybe Derek could have been a millionaire, but we'll forgive him that. But from my dad's perspective -- and mind you, I am my dad's little girl -- Derek treats me like a princess. And on top of that, he is just really nice to everyone else too. My dad always knew what mattered, and he worked at adopting beliefs he knew were right. For that, I admire him. And I appreciate that he fought against the beliefs that surronded him, beliefs that maybe others of his generation wouldn't have questioned. I appreciate that he never let me know anything but what did really matter. I appreciate that my grandparents - both sides - raised my parents to be as open minded as they are and taught them to care about what does matter - treating people well.
In 1967, when Derek was two years old, it was illegal in some states for people of different races to marry. It was illegal for Derek and I to get married. Illegal for my friend Tom (of Korean decent) to marry Kelly (who is white). It was illegal for a Mexican-American to marry someone who was white. The only person who could marry someone white was someone else who fits that ill-defined but ever important defintion of "white." In 1967, the Supreme Court ruled that such prohibitions on marriage were unconstitutional. I wonder how we can possibly be having this same debate today. Yes, denying the right of marriage to people based on their skin color, their sexual orientation, their economic class, their nationality -- it is unconstitutional. Is it so hard for us to figure this out?
None of my friends, but some random acquaintances (or cousins!) have asked me, "What is it like dating a black man?" Inside, I roll my eyes in disgust and curse at their ignorance, while, in reality, I control my tongue and say "I only know what it is like to date nice guys. Derek's one of them." Then I remind myself when I am thinking how ridiculous these people are that even Oprah -- yes, Oprah -- lowered her special on "inter-racial couples" to asking quesstions like whether the sex was different, what it was like to eat soul food, and basically the "what is it like" question in diffferent forms. Yes, we have our differences - we have different backgrounds. Different families. Different habits. Different ideas. Different desires, different tolerances, different thresholds for pain, intimacy, annoyance, noise, emotion. Sounds like pretty much every couple you know, huh? My marriage is unique like every couple's is unique, and has the same commonalities (is that a word? i want it to be) as other couples' relationships.
A friend of mine from college, who is gay and lives in LA, was visiting NY a couple months ago. We all went to dinner, and he was telling us (Derek and I) about a date he went on with a guy here in New York. He was talking about the first date jitters, the nerves, the butterflies in his stomach. He was debating what his next steps should be - should he call? Should he wait for the call? He was surprised at how much he liked (likes) the guy. Derek and I gave easy advice -- call him! -- but we realized it was easier said than done. We couldn't really relate. Not because we aren't gay -- because we have been fricking together since 1997. We haven't been at the beginning of a relationship since October of 1997! On our walk home, when we thought back to 9 years ago -- we remembered those feelings so vividly. In fact, Derek did go through the debate, "Should I call her? Should I wait for her to call?" He debated and couldn't reach a decision, so he called me and hung up when I answered!!! (Yes, he did, and I totally knew it was him at the time, and I thought it was cute and vulnerable. But annoying:)).
So that is all why this downloading all my favorite songs is very tiring and emotional. I am know trying to find "Sometimes When We Touch" by Dan Hill. How can that song not be on iTunes?? I need to go focus my search....
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
State of the Union
Playing on the internet - doing some work - while listening to the State of the Union. I was about to lambast GW, but right at that moment he turned his speech and attention to Dikembe Motumbo. Whom I love, and I think deserves a ton of credit for his achievements, intelligence, kindness, and humanitarian efforts. So I will at least pause for a moment before I say anything else....
....
Now, why does GW sound exactly the same all the time? Why? Doesn't he hear himself. He can't say a sentence with any other cadence, tone, rhythm than he said the last one. It drives me crazy - for many reasons - not the least of which that the cadence, tone, and rhythm does not contain one ounce of genuine passion or intelligence. The cadence and tone do not vibrate from the substance contained within his words. In fact, his speeches and words contain very little substance. I hope 2008 finds us someone better (it is hard to imagine anyone could be worse). 49 minutes of nothing.
Can we please have a president who does not end his State of the Union with "God Bless."
Question. I might be politically naive, but I have been wondering this. Why don't Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton join forces and run as a team together in 2008? There seems little doubt that they will be the democratic front runners. By joining forces, they certainly create a power team that will unify some votes. I prefer Obama to Hillary (although I disagree with him on the "civil union" issue - why support a policy that is essentially the failed "separate but equal" policy previously found unconstitutional? I understand not wanting to rock the boat as a politician, but still...), but I think together they make a statement that might elude democrats otherwise (although I would hope not). And fault him all you like, I like Bill Clinton - and Hillary basically gets him back in office. I don't know. I am not thinking this one through, because I am tired, but I just want so much better in our presidency than we have now.
One commentator just said, "There were so many sad echos of things he [GW] said in the past." Ah, how accurate. Great statement.
On another note - the woman sitting next to me on the subway tonight was knitting. She paused from knitting to "fix" her hair, and kept the knitting needle in her hand while she did this and poke me in the face with it. Not once. Not twice. Three times! Apparently, I should not have said "No worries" after she apologized the first time. There are, in fact, some occasions where "no worries" is not an appropriate statement. But it just comes out! Out of habit:)
....
Now, why does GW sound exactly the same all the time? Why? Doesn't he hear himself. He can't say a sentence with any other cadence, tone, rhythm than he said the last one. It drives me crazy - for many reasons - not the least of which that the cadence, tone, and rhythm does not contain one ounce of genuine passion or intelligence. The cadence and tone do not vibrate from the substance contained within his words. In fact, his speeches and words contain very little substance. I hope 2008 finds us someone better (it is hard to imagine anyone could be worse). 49 minutes of nothing.
Can we please have a president who does not end his State of the Union with "God Bless."
Question. I might be politically naive, but I have been wondering this. Why don't Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton join forces and run as a team together in 2008? There seems little doubt that they will be the democratic front runners. By joining forces, they certainly create a power team that will unify some votes. I prefer Obama to Hillary (although I disagree with him on the "civil union" issue - why support a policy that is essentially the failed "separate but equal" policy previously found unconstitutional? I understand not wanting to rock the boat as a politician, but still...), but I think together they make a statement that might elude democrats otherwise (although I would hope not). And fault him all you like, I like Bill Clinton - and Hillary basically gets him back in office. I don't know. I am not thinking this one through, because I am tired, but I just want so much better in our presidency than we have now.
One commentator just said, "There were so many sad echos of things he [GW] said in the past." Ah, how accurate. Great statement.
On another note - the woman sitting next to me on the subway tonight was knitting. She paused from knitting to "fix" her hair, and kept the knitting needle in her hand while she did this and poke me in the face with it. Not once. Not twice. Three times! Apparently, I should not have said "No worries" after she apologized the first time. There are, in fact, some occasions where "no worries" is not an appropriate statement. But it just comes out! Out of habit:)
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Answers and More
I know I emailed some of you the answers to my blog, but not all of you. So here they are with a little added something (aka, digressions). First, I have to say, I know the test was hard. Really, I realized no one but possibly Derek even stood a chance at getting all of them right. I rarely talk about the names that I would name my children with anyone other than Derek or my sister - mostly because I am of the mind that if you say the name too many times before you have a child, you grow tired of it. And I don't want to grow tired of the names I like:) Second, as Derek, my brother, and my sister correctly pointed out - a couple of the questions technically had two answers. There were better choices - answers that were "most correct" -- for them. But I admit, they were done in haste and weren't foolproof. So....sorry:) But, on the bright side, everyone got at least one answer right which was extremely impressive to me! Here are the answers ... although possibly not in the order that appeared on the test since I don't have it in front of me and can't pull it up for some reason...
Tattoos--I used to have two. A halo with angel wings on my lower back (left side) and a butterfly with chinese characters on the inside of my right arm (which, I believe, meant strenth, love, and beautiful woman). I got the first one my senior year of college, and cried because it was 10 times bigger than I wanted it to be. The artist took some creative freedoms and apparently enjoyed drawing on my lower back/butt! The second I got the next year and loved it. After about 10 years, a little less, I just simply grew tired of them. I didn't regret getting them - but just didn't want to see them anymore. I wanted my clear skin back.....so ended up getting them both removed. So I no longer have any. However, I could use another treatment or two on my back one, so you can see it a bit, so maybe I lied a bit here. But I don't think so.
Basketball -- I have never taken a class in basketball. I coached basketball when I was a teacher, and didn't even know what a "pick" or a "screen" was, let alone the theories behind which zone defenses were appropriate to use and when. So I faked it, and with the help of my friend Mike (who was my assistant coach the second year, but really was the coach) and my colleague Tim, I faked it pretty well. But I never never never let the girls (high school girls!) see me shoot.
Swimming -- My best event was the 400IM. I swam year round from the age of 6 until the end of college, and really peaked probably from the ages of 12-16. I was quite burned out by the time I got to college, but still did it because "a swimmer" had always been part of my identity. So in my glory days, the 400IM was really my premiere event, although due to the nature of the event (all four strokes, distance), I was versatile and did well at any distance free event and the 200s of the strokes...
Trophies/Medals -- My parents kept them for me for a long time. I didn't have space for them in NY, so my parents kept boxes of trophies, medals, ribbons. Finally, at the end of college and the beginning of my masters program, I coached a novice swim team, and in addition to the "new" awards each of the kids got, I would give them each some of my old medals and trophies. It was actually very cool to do, especially because times have changed and medals aren't given out at every swim meet for these kids. ANyway, I did lie a bit though. I did keep the most special ones - ones that represented bigger accomplishments and accolades. So there are some trophies sitting in my parents basement, still.
First Kiss -- Jonas Kruckeberg. He was a year older than me, a year younger than my sister, and hung out with a guy that she liked at the time. He came over to our house one day, when I was not there, and saw some of the swimming medals/trophies/ribbons out (there was a time I displayed them a bit more::)) - and somehow decided he loved me based on that. He made my sister set us up on a date, which she did - without any thought to my well being. He was crazy, and much much much more experienced than me at the time. Not to mention he looked like a man. So we went out. I wore white pants and this blue and green swirly shirt that showed a bit of my stomach -- very classy and oh so 80s -- and we went on a walk and he picked up a cheesy flower to put behind my ear and kissed me. Not sure I liked it so much - because I was kind of scared of him. And I should have been.....I'll save all the reasons why for another blog, another time, and you will certainly laugh:) Julius was a high school boyfriend and friend, Reed was a high school crush and friend, and Chris (the one I was thinking of when I wrote those answers) was a 5th grade boyfriend who was the best breakdancer in school (he was actually in 6th grade, I was in 5th) who often wore parachute pants, and who wanted to kiss me after band practice (i played the saxophone, he played the drums) but I chickened out and said I had to go because my dad was waiting for me outside. He wasn't - I think he was in fact an hour late picking me up - so I hid in the bushes to pretend like I was gone!:)
College - I went to Georgetown. I did not apply to Stanford because I didn't want to go to school in California (where I basically grew up). I never considered West Point. When I went on my recruiting trip to Harvard, I was miserable so didn't really consider it despite some people telling me that was crazy. Air Force Academy was recruiting me too, and my dad really wanted me to consider it, so I did. And, actually, I loved loved loved the swim coach, Casey Converse. If I was going to pick who to swim for, it probably would have been him and I might not have "peaked" at the age of 16. He was awesome. And I actually had fun on my recruiting trip, and liked the people I met. However, of course, there was that whole issue of being a military academy and serving in the military afterwards. Yes, basically, not so much my thing.
Broken bones -- Four toes, and a nose. I broke my toes -- all four left toes except my big one -- my junior year of college at the Big East Conference championships. I walked into a steel pole (part of a lifeguard stand) and my toes turned perpendicular to my foot. 2 minutes later, my foot was black and blue and swelled to 3/4 the size of a baseball. 5 minutes later, I had to swim my 400IM (yes, that would be my best event). As I mentioned, I was much better in high school than in college. Much. Had I been as fast in college, I would have held most school records at the time. My junior year, I had decided that if I was going to do this - I wanted to do it right - and I worked hard to try to re-achieve that level and break at least the 400 IM record. And this would have been where I did it. Well, I didn't break it - I don't even remember swimming the event. I just remember standing on the blocks on one foot, basically, and cryiing, and all the coaches were behind the block encouraging me. I pushed off each wall with one foot. I think I was like 1/2 second off the record or something. And that, my friends, was the end of my swimming career. I just didn't have it in me after that. My nose I broke when I was like 6 and we lived in Pueblo, Colorado. My sister and I were running to our friend Stacy's house, and I slipped on the ice and fell on the cement steps leading up to her front door. My sister said, "Oh, your nose is bleeding." When I felt by my nostrils, there was no blood. So she said, "No, up by your eyes." And sure enough, gushing blood and the feel of a misplaced nose. My dad popped it back into place. We have pictures - which are all the better because at the time (like 1979 or so), my sister and I had afros. Not perms, not wavey hair. Afros. Yes, beautiful. My parents were young (are young) and we were certainly immersed into the disco era.
Middle names (male and female) -- I love the middle name James for a girl. I like the way it sounds with all the first names I think of (which, I can't say, as per my policy alluded to above). And, I like the middle name Lorin for a boy. My friend Dave's middle name is Lorin, and my friend Lauren's name is of course the female version. It rings of happiness, charm, and distinction for me, and goes with the first names I think of. However, Derek reminds me that he hates the name (no offense to Dave or Lauren) so I might not be able to use that middle name, and he also reminded me that I do like the middle name Isabell as well. But not as much as James! And this is my test, not reality, and we aren't expecting any children, so I don't think I lied at all on the answers:)
Song That Sends Me Home -- Come On Eileen. I could not hate a song more!!!
So, that is it. Tied with Derek for first place was baby Lillian, who I believe got a little help/inside info from her mom, Agatha -- who does know me just about as well as anyone possibly could, including those things that I would never share on the test or on this blog:) My sister and one of my brothers were next in line after Agatha, which seemed to make sense. And everyone got at least two - which made me feel like I have very attentive friends:) Thank you!!
So I'll leave this post at that for now, since Derek just got home with the groceries (I love him, he went shopping for us and didn't make me go, too. I love him) and I should help put them away.
I might have pictures to share later, as well as my two cents about Grey's Anatomy and American Idol (my prediction for one of next season's top ten finalists, if not winner!). I've never watched American Idol before, but Derek and I got sucked in this week.
Tattoos--I used to have two. A halo with angel wings on my lower back (left side) and a butterfly with chinese characters on the inside of my right arm (which, I believe, meant strenth, love, and beautiful woman). I got the first one my senior year of college, and cried because it was 10 times bigger than I wanted it to be. The artist took some creative freedoms and apparently enjoyed drawing on my lower back/butt! The second I got the next year and loved it. After about 10 years, a little less, I just simply grew tired of them. I didn't regret getting them - but just didn't want to see them anymore. I wanted my clear skin back.....so ended up getting them both removed. So I no longer have any. However, I could use another treatment or two on my back one, so you can see it a bit, so maybe I lied a bit here. But I don't think so.
Basketball -- I have never taken a class in basketball. I coached basketball when I was a teacher, and didn't even know what a "pick" or a "screen" was, let alone the theories behind which zone defenses were appropriate to use and when. So I faked it, and with the help of my friend Mike (who was my assistant coach the second year, but really was the coach) and my colleague Tim, I faked it pretty well. But I never never never let the girls (high school girls!) see me shoot.
Swimming -- My best event was the 400IM. I swam year round from the age of 6 until the end of college, and really peaked probably from the ages of 12-16. I was quite burned out by the time I got to college, but still did it because "a swimmer" had always been part of my identity. So in my glory days, the 400IM was really my premiere event, although due to the nature of the event (all four strokes, distance), I was versatile and did well at any distance free event and the 200s of the strokes...
Trophies/Medals -- My parents kept them for me for a long time. I didn't have space for them in NY, so my parents kept boxes of trophies, medals, ribbons. Finally, at the end of college and the beginning of my masters program, I coached a novice swim team, and in addition to the "new" awards each of the kids got, I would give them each some of my old medals and trophies. It was actually very cool to do, especially because times have changed and medals aren't given out at every swim meet for these kids. ANyway, I did lie a bit though. I did keep the most special ones - ones that represented bigger accomplishments and accolades. So there are some trophies sitting in my parents basement, still.
First Kiss -- Jonas Kruckeberg. He was a year older than me, a year younger than my sister, and hung out with a guy that she liked at the time. He came over to our house one day, when I was not there, and saw some of the swimming medals/trophies/ribbons out (there was a time I displayed them a bit more::)) - and somehow decided he loved me based on that. He made my sister set us up on a date, which she did - without any thought to my well being. He was crazy, and much much much more experienced than me at the time. Not to mention he looked like a man. So we went out. I wore white pants and this blue and green swirly shirt that showed a bit of my stomach -- very classy and oh so 80s -- and we went on a walk and he picked up a cheesy flower to put behind my ear and kissed me. Not sure I liked it so much - because I was kind of scared of him. And I should have been.....I'll save all the reasons why for another blog, another time, and you will certainly laugh:) Julius was a high school boyfriend and friend, Reed was a high school crush and friend, and Chris (the one I was thinking of when I wrote those answers) was a 5th grade boyfriend who was the best breakdancer in school (he was actually in 6th grade, I was in 5th) who often wore parachute pants, and who wanted to kiss me after band practice (i played the saxophone, he played the drums) but I chickened out and said I had to go because my dad was waiting for me outside. He wasn't - I think he was in fact an hour late picking me up - so I hid in the bushes to pretend like I was gone!:)
College - I went to Georgetown. I did not apply to Stanford because I didn't want to go to school in California (where I basically grew up). I never considered West Point. When I went on my recruiting trip to Harvard, I was miserable so didn't really consider it despite some people telling me that was crazy. Air Force Academy was recruiting me too, and my dad really wanted me to consider it, so I did. And, actually, I loved loved loved the swim coach, Casey Converse. If I was going to pick who to swim for, it probably would have been him and I might not have "peaked" at the age of 16. He was awesome. And I actually had fun on my recruiting trip, and liked the people I met. However, of course, there was that whole issue of being a military academy and serving in the military afterwards. Yes, basically, not so much my thing.
Broken bones -- Four toes, and a nose. I broke my toes -- all four left toes except my big one -- my junior year of college at the Big East Conference championships. I walked into a steel pole (part of a lifeguard stand) and my toes turned perpendicular to my foot. 2 minutes later, my foot was black and blue and swelled to 3/4 the size of a baseball. 5 minutes later, I had to swim my 400IM (yes, that would be my best event). As I mentioned, I was much better in high school than in college. Much. Had I been as fast in college, I would have held most school records at the time. My junior year, I had decided that if I was going to do this - I wanted to do it right - and I worked hard to try to re-achieve that level and break at least the 400 IM record. And this would have been where I did it. Well, I didn't break it - I don't even remember swimming the event. I just remember standing on the blocks on one foot, basically, and cryiing, and all the coaches were behind the block encouraging me. I pushed off each wall with one foot. I think I was like 1/2 second off the record or something. And that, my friends, was the end of my swimming career. I just didn't have it in me after that. My nose I broke when I was like 6 and we lived in Pueblo, Colorado. My sister and I were running to our friend Stacy's house, and I slipped on the ice and fell on the cement steps leading up to her front door. My sister said, "Oh, your nose is bleeding." When I felt by my nostrils, there was no blood. So she said, "No, up by your eyes." And sure enough, gushing blood and the feel of a misplaced nose. My dad popped it back into place. We have pictures - which are all the better because at the time (like 1979 or so), my sister and I had afros. Not perms, not wavey hair. Afros. Yes, beautiful. My parents were young (are young) and we were certainly immersed into the disco era.
Middle names (male and female) -- I love the middle name James for a girl. I like the way it sounds with all the first names I think of (which, I can't say, as per my policy alluded to above). And, I like the middle name Lorin for a boy. My friend Dave's middle name is Lorin, and my friend Lauren's name is of course the female version. It rings of happiness, charm, and distinction for me, and goes with the first names I think of. However, Derek reminds me that he hates the name (no offense to Dave or Lauren) so I might not be able to use that middle name, and he also reminded me that I do like the middle name Isabell as well. But not as much as James! And this is my test, not reality, and we aren't expecting any children, so I don't think I lied at all on the answers:)
Song That Sends Me Home -- Come On Eileen. I could not hate a song more!!!
So, that is it. Tied with Derek for first place was baby Lillian, who I believe got a little help/inside info from her mom, Agatha -- who does know me just about as well as anyone possibly could, including those things that I would never share on the test or on this blog:) My sister and one of my brothers were next in line after Agatha, which seemed to make sense. And everyone got at least two - which made me feel like I have very attentive friends:) Thank you!!
So I'll leave this post at that for now, since Derek just got home with the groceries (I love him, he went shopping for us and didn't make me go, too. I love him) and I should help put them away.
I might have pictures to share later, as well as my two cents about Grey's Anatomy and American Idol (my prediction for one of next season's top ten finalists, if not winner!). I've never watched American Idol before, but Derek and I got sucked in this week.
Our New Purchase
We got our new computer on Thursday....and the modem, internet connection, and desk on Friday, and we have a whole new life it seems! After a fun dinner out last night with our friends (yum, MaryAnn's Mexican food! Strawberry Margaritas! Laughter!), we came home and set everything up and played on the computer until 2:30 a.m. Such dorks. Despite the fact that we barely know what we are doing with the Mac, we love it!!
Yesterday I actually typed out a long long post....talking about my "how well do you know me" answers, and digressing into other stories, and even covering my new interest in American Idol. It was long, with spots of humor! Then, I go to publish it - and it disappears. So I plan on typing one up this weekend....now that I can leisurely do so in the comfort of my own home and my upstairs haven. So fun.
Oh, and please, someone get an Apple at home and get a .mac account so I can "I-Chat" with you. It is our favorite feature. We do have a couple friends who we can do this with, but we want all of our friends to get it. Honestly, I hate to be demanding, but I will be:)
Yesterday I actually typed out a long long post....talking about my "how well do you know me" answers, and digressing into other stories, and even covering my new interest in American Idol. It was long, with spots of humor! Then, I go to publish it - and it disappears. So I plan on typing one up this weekend....now that I can leisurely do so in the comfort of my own home and my upstairs haven. So fun.
Oh, and please, someone get an Apple at home and get a .mac account so I can "I-Chat" with you. It is our favorite feature. We do have a couple friends who we can do this with, but we want all of our friends to get it. Honestly, I hate to be demanding, but I will be:)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Thanks everyone who checked in on Butter either via this blog, email, or calling me. Both Derek and I - and Butter - appreciate it so much. Derek picked him up Friday night, and the vet successfully got a good chunk of the growth out via the biopsy and only had to sedate him (not put him under). However, he takes after his "dad" (Derek!) in that despite his size, he is quite sensitive to drugs. Derek and a neighbor had to carry Butter up to our place on a make-shift stretcher (a oversized towel) and I don't think he moved more than one time between Friday and 6pm and Saturday at 6pm. At that time, we coaxed him to stand up and I took up on a walk....around our house. So he circled our downstairs area, then plopped down on the rug like he just ran a marathon. Needless to say, the day was filled with me monitoring his breathing and petting him and confirming signs of life. Derek and I were really worried, but the vet assured us that it was just taking a while to have the drugs wear off. He was a bit better on Sunday, and showed spurts of energy......Then was back to himself yesterday afternoon. Whew. We get the test results back at the end of this week and will know then whether the growth is anything to be concerned about. We are seriously hoping it is benign...I couldn't bare to put him under for a surgery knowing how hard the sedation drugs were on him. I felt pretty guilty all weekend because he did not feel well, and before the biopsy his growth was not bothering him at all. I just wanted to be able to explain to him why we were putting him through this. I'd like to explain it more eloquently, but I just felt terrible.
Deuce was sad all weekend, too. He missed his buddy playing with him and walking with him. When Butter finally went on a walk with Deuce on Monday morning, Deuce came back ecstatic. The next time we got the leashes out, he ran up to Butter and kissed him, as if to say, "You are coming this time, too! Yay!" It evidently doesn't matter to Deuce that Butter slows his walks down, and shortens them more often than not. He'd gladly give up fast, long walks just to have his partner out there with him.
We do suspect that Butter played up his lack of energy in order to milk all the attention he could get. Our friends Dave and Roxanne (I went to college with both of them) visited us from DC this weekend for Roxanne's birthday. They are two of our favorite people, and two of Butter & Deuce's favorites. Butter met Dave and Roxanne on his first road-trip with us about 7 years ago, and the friendship was instant. They are his best buddies. They certainly showered him with as much love as they could, too. In fact, Sunday night after we got back from a day of shopping (Derek and I bought a new Mac! We get it later this week. We can't wait to I-Chat with the new i-camera with everyone else who has a Mac!.) and a really good dinner, we were lounging downstairs in our second bedroom watching the Chargers v. Patriots game. After the game was over and we were all depressed, Butter showed signs of life by getting up and walking into the room. Derek and I were laying on the floor, and Roxanne and Dave were on the day bed. Butter made it known he wanted to crawl up with them Dave and Roxanne-- so we got his blanket out and they gladly helped him up into the day bed with them. Spoiled rotten brat:) When I get pictures, I will share them. I took some (hard pics, need to be developed, and hopefully D&R send me some of the digitals) - so will share when I get them. So I guess point is -- don't' feel too sorry for Butter yet. He might know exactly how to press our buttons to get this sympathy!
Other than that we had a great weekend. Dave and Roxanne came up later on Saturday, we hung out at our house, a friend of Roxanne's, Jenny, who also lives in NY joined us. We headed down to Franny's for dinner (one of the best pizza places in NYC....home made pizza, they cure their own meats, really interesting, tastey appetizers, homemade gelato, great drinks, very hip, great service). We closed the place down, came back to the house, and all indulged in the homemade birthday cake I made for Roxanne - which might not have looked pretty since it was falling apart, but it tasted delicious! - with Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream (Fossil Fuel....if you haven't tried it, you must!). Jenny spent the night with us since the night went much longer than we anticipated, and spooned with Deuce in the day bed much to Deuce's delight (he loves to cuddle!).
The next morning, Deerek and Dave drove Jenny home so she could make her flight to join Cirque de Soleil (she is about to go on tour with Cirque de Soleil -- she is an incredible singer and will sing 10 of the 20 songs during the show, the other ten song by a male vocal). We ate bagels, chatted, and then went shopping for our Mac and had a great time. After we splurged on the Mac - and 2 iPod nanos, and a iPod chip to put in my running shoes, and an armband, oh, and a desk for the Mac! - we went to dinner at Bistro Laurent Tourondel (BLT Burger) and had delicious food and amazing milkshakes (Dave's request, and he really had to twist our arms to get us to agree to indulging!). Ah, now I really miss the birthday cake, the ice cream, and the milkshakes.....If only that were considered healthy eating, life would be so easy:)
When I came to work, I checked out Tracey's blog (it has been a slower day, surprisingly, given all we have to do for the Super Bowl) and read some info on a parenting site she spoke of. I can't remember what it is now...but it has a thread about "real-life" friends. It was ironic because Derek and I spent the majority of yesterday counting our blessings and raving about the friends that I have (a conversation inspired by Dave and Roxanne). Derek often says that he didn't know what true friendship was until he met my friends and got to know the relationships I have with them (although he does have some really good friends, too). That is a testament to the quality of people that I have been lucky enough to meet over the course of my life, and who, for whatever reason, gave me a chance to get close to them, rather than to any quality of mine. I know I have written about some of my friendships in at least one other blog...and I am sorry that I bring them up all the time. But I am just so proud of each of you and the qualities you have. If yuo ever need PR or some good press, come my way! Because I can't say enough good things about all of you:)
Deuce was sad all weekend, too. He missed his buddy playing with him and walking with him. When Butter finally went on a walk with Deuce on Monday morning, Deuce came back ecstatic. The next time we got the leashes out, he ran up to Butter and kissed him, as if to say, "You are coming this time, too! Yay!" It evidently doesn't matter to Deuce that Butter slows his walks down, and shortens them more often than not. He'd gladly give up fast, long walks just to have his partner out there with him.
We do suspect that Butter played up his lack of energy in order to milk all the attention he could get. Our friends Dave and Roxanne (I went to college with both of them) visited us from DC this weekend for Roxanne's birthday. They are two of our favorite people, and two of Butter & Deuce's favorites. Butter met Dave and Roxanne on his first road-trip with us about 7 years ago, and the friendship was instant. They are his best buddies. They certainly showered him with as much love as they could, too. In fact, Sunday night after we got back from a day of shopping (Derek and I bought a new Mac! We get it later this week. We can't wait to I-Chat with the new i-camera with everyone else who has a Mac!.) and a really good dinner, we were lounging downstairs in our second bedroom watching the Chargers v. Patriots game. After the game was over and we were all depressed, Butter showed signs of life by getting up and walking into the room. Derek and I were laying on the floor, and Roxanne and Dave were on the day bed. Butter made it known he wanted to crawl up with them Dave and Roxanne-- so we got his blanket out and they gladly helped him up into the day bed with them. Spoiled rotten brat:) When I get pictures, I will share them. I took some (hard pics, need to be developed, and hopefully D&R send me some of the digitals) - so will share when I get them. So I guess point is -- don't' feel too sorry for Butter yet. He might know exactly how to press our buttons to get this sympathy!
Other than that we had a great weekend. Dave and Roxanne came up later on Saturday, we hung out at our house, a friend of Roxanne's, Jenny, who also lives in NY joined us. We headed down to Franny's for dinner (one of the best pizza places in NYC....home made pizza, they cure their own meats, really interesting, tastey appetizers, homemade gelato, great drinks, very hip, great service). We closed the place down, came back to the house, and all indulged in the homemade birthday cake I made for Roxanne - which might not have looked pretty since it was falling apart, but it tasted delicious! - with Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream (Fossil Fuel....if you haven't tried it, you must!). Jenny spent the night with us since the night went much longer than we anticipated, and spooned with Deuce in the day bed much to Deuce's delight (he loves to cuddle!).
The next morning, Deerek and Dave drove Jenny home so she could make her flight to join Cirque de Soleil (she is about to go on tour with Cirque de Soleil -- she is an incredible singer and will sing 10 of the 20 songs during the show, the other ten song by a male vocal). We ate bagels, chatted, and then went shopping for our Mac and had a great time. After we splurged on the Mac - and 2 iPod nanos, and a iPod chip to put in my running shoes, and an armband, oh, and a desk for the Mac! - we went to dinner at Bistro Laurent Tourondel (BLT Burger) and had delicious food and amazing milkshakes (Dave's request, and he really had to twist our arms to get us to agree to indulging!). Ah, now I really miss the birthday cake, the ice cream, and the milkshakes.....If only that were considered healthy eating, life would be so easy:)
When I came to work, I checked out Tracey's blog (it has been a slower day, surprisingly, given all we have to do for the Super Bowl) and read some info on a parenting site she spoke of. I can't remember what it is now...but it has a thread about "real-life" friends. It was ironic because Derek and I spent the majority of yesterday counting our blessings and raving about the friends that I have (a conversation inspired by Dave and Roxanne). Derek often says that he didn't know what true friendship was until he met my friends and got to know the relationships I have with them (although he does have some really good friends, too). That is a testament to the quality of people that I have been lucky enough to meet over the course of my life, and who, for whatever reason, gave me a chance to get close to them, rather than to any quality of mine. I know I have written about some of my friendships in at least one other blog...and I am sorry that I bring them up all the time. But I am just so proud of each of you and the qualities you have. If yuo ever need PR or some good press, come my way! Because I can't say enough good things about all of you:)
Thursday, January 11, 2007
A touch of humor, a little thought, and a lot of heartbreak
Let's start with humor. My friends Mieke and Jeremy sent me a card the other day.....on the front, two dogs talking to each other. The caption reads, "I had a blog for a while, but then decided to go back to just incessant pointless barking." I smiled, I laughed. Of course, there's not too much difference between the two:) I thought it was adorable.
Earlier today I was thinking of some quotes that were very poignant in "Half of a Yellow Sun." As you can tell, I am a bit sad that I finished reading the book and I don't have another good one to move onto. I want to re-read the book (!), but I know that that never really is as gratifying as we wish it was. In any event, one quote that I really liked was "Some things are so unforgiveable that it makes it easy to forgive others." There are two sisters in the novel, and one sleeps with the boyfriend of the other. The sister who was betrayed stays with her boyfriend, and her and her sister don't speak for years. Then the civil war grows, and the effects of the war are incredible -- on the country, and on each of the sisters. It eventually leads the one betrayed sister searching out the other one to make sure she is still alive, and the one that was betrayed simply says this quote to her sister and nothing else to explain the lost time and/or express her desire to make amends. My replay of the story does not do it justice, but the quote stuck with me. The stark honesty and accuracy of it.
On to the heartbreak. I cry when I see this -- close to uncontrollably. It was sent to me a while ago by another dear dear friend, Laurie, another animal lover and one of my best confidants in life. I came across it again randomly yesterday, and it seemed timely given my current blogs on pit bulls and saving dogs. This is why we work so hard to save them - because they don't have a voice for themselves and this is the fate of all too many that are adoptable. Butter and Deuce were both adopted from shelters and returned, and in many shelters that would be an immediate death sentence. And if you have ever met my two dogs, you know how much they deserve to live.
Please know that it is not easy to watch and, if you choose to watch it, some of the images are hard to see. But they are important and help tell a story that the victims can't tell themselves.
http://www.brightlion.com/inhope.aspx
Earlier today I was thinking of some quotes that were very poignant in "Half of a Yellow Sun." As you can tell, I am a bit sad that I finished reading the book and I don't have another good one to move onto. I want to re-read the book (!), but I know that that never really is as gratifying as we wish it was. In any event, one quote that I really liked was "Some things are so unforgiveable that it makes it easy to forgive others." There are two sisters in the novel, and one sleeps with the boyfriend of the other. The sister who was betrayed stays with her boyfriend, and her and her sister don't speak for years. Then the civil war grows, and the effects of the war are incredible -- on the country, and on each of the sisters. It eventually leads the one betrayed sister searching out the other one to make sure she is still alive, and the one that was betrayed simply says this quote to her sister and nothing else to explain the lost time and/or express her desire to make amends. My replay of the story does not do it justice, but the quote stuck with me. The stark honesty and accuracy of it.
On to the heartbreak. I cry when I see this -- close to uncontrollably. It was sent to me a while ago by another dear dear friend, Laurie, another animal lover and one of my best confidants in life. I came across it again randomly yesterday, and it seemed timely given my current blogs on pit bulls and saving dogs. This is why we work so hard to save them - because they don't have a voice for themselves and this is the fate of all too many that are adoptable. Butter and Deuce were both adopted from shelters and returned, and in many shelters that would be an immediate death sentence. And if you have ever met my two dogs, you know how much they deserve to live.
Please know that it is not easy to watch and, if you choose to watch it, some of the images are hard to see. But they are important and help tell a story that the victims can't tell themselves.
http://www.brightlion.com/inhope.aspx
Monday, January 08, 2007
Misguided legislation - Opposition to your proposed ban on Pit Bulls
An email that I sent to Councilman Peter Vallone, Jr. Should you feel so inclined to voice your opinion (and hopefully oppose the proposed ban), please email vallonejr@council.nyc.ny.us.
Dear Councilman Vallone:
Recently, I have read articles regarding your proposal for a city-wide
ban on Pit Bulls. At the core of this proposal lies ignorance and a severely
misguided direction. For that reason, it is one that I strongly oppose.
Dogs are domesticated animals. They did not become so by accident.
Loyal, intelligent, eager to please, "pack" oriented (aka family oriented) --
they have many of the traits that we'd ask our own family members to display. As
a result of these traits, most dogs that you will find in this city that are
lucky enough to have homes act the very way that their "owners" have asked them
to act. They act as we train them to act. They display behaviors we ask them to
display. For most, that means they are kind, gentle, if not also obedient
animals. Pit Bulls are no different, and they should not be treated differently.
As with people, the shape of their face or the color of their nose or the size
of their paws or jaw do not determine their fate. How sad would it be if I were
scared of every tall, strong, broad shouldered man or woman that I walked passed
on the streets? In fact, if I felt that way, I would be criticized by many for
my naïve generalizations. Your legislative proposal to ban all Pit Bulls
deserves such criticism.
Rather than target a loyal, affectionate animal whose goal in life is
to please its owner/parent, you should spend your time and focus your power on
those who have influence over a dogs actions: owners. If a man or woman adopts a
dog, and trains it to fight, to hurt, to scare people -- there is little doubt
the dog will try its best to do that. It's been asked to do that by the person
who provides it food, shelter, warmth. In this instance, it doesn't matter if it
is a Pit Bull, a German Shepherd, a mix from the shelter, a Rottweiler, a Great
Dane, a Mastiff, a Lab, or a standard size Poodle. The constant and the cause is
the person who is doing the training. Rather than promote legislation to kill an
entire "breed" of dogs (which, a quick round of simple research will explain to
you is really a collection of breeds and mixes), you should use the power and
resources at your fingertips to make sure that we do our best to keep animals
out of the hands of people who don't have an intention to make dogs a part of
their family and treat them with the love, respect, and kindness we expect from
the dogs themselves. You should use your power to make sure those that do treat
animals inhumanely, and who train animals to hurt others, face severe
consequences. You should help financially support the various efforts to make
sure people spay/neuter their animals.
I have no doubt that you will receive a number of emails with personal
antidotes about the kindness and good nature of Pit Bulls and other similar
breeds. Although unnecessary to my point, I would be doing a disservice to the
pit bulls and other similar mixes that I have saved or know if I did not mention
them to you. I've opened up my home to many - sometimes for a night, sometimes
for a week, sometime just for a couple hours. Some have been sad, some have been
scared. All have been loving. Their worst trait? Thinking that, despite their
size, they are lapdogs. Never have they shown any aggression to me, my husband,
any child that has been in our home, or any other animal, including our own
dogs. There was Brandy, a female pit bull rescued from the Brooklyn CACC. Her
worst trait? Not wanting you to leave her, and kissing you in an effort to
convince you to stay. There was Champ, a male pit-mix rescued from the streets
of the Bronx. His worst trait? Wanting to play with our big Akita/Saint Bernard
mix throughout the night, and trying to fit his entire body -- skinny as it was
-- into any available lap. There is Lucy, a female pit bull rescued from the
streets of Brooklyn. Her worst trait? Having unbridled enthusiasm for every
adult, baby, and animal she comes across, and wanting to kiss everyone endlessly
to express that enthusiasm. There are countless others -- too many to name --
that are no different than the Labradors, Golden Retrievers, Weimaraners,
Huskies, Rottweilers, Saint Bernards, Jack Russells, Spaniels, and Bichon
Frises, like your own, that need good homes. They want to please us, and to show
their love and loyalty. None of these ones have been trained to demonstrate the
aggression that you ignorantly associate with the breed -- an aggression that
can be trained in other breeds, an aggression that can be trained, sadly,
exactly because of the loyalty that makes dogs a man's best friend.
I would ask you to propose a legislation that is worthy of such
loyalty. Help this city create good homes for all the animals in need.
Sincerely,
Nikki A. Hart, Esq.
Things to Smile About
- I just finished "Half of a Yellow Sun," by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Excellent book. It is a story of life, class, race, poverty, war and love during the civil war that raged in Nigeria in the last part of the 1960s. Told through the eyes of three different people who are all connected to a charming academic, it is insightful, poignant and touching. I'd highly recommend it. It is definitely on my list of all time favorites.
- My husband is getting ready to teach his first spinning class at the corporate gym of an investment bank here in the city tonight. I went through his program with him last night (he is going to kill them....it is so hard!) and on his playlist was "What'd I Say" by Ray Charles. I forgot how much I liked the song and what a great song it is to work out to.
- Due in part to Derek's new profession and his need for great music to make money....we are finally going to get a new home computer and an iPod or two. As two music lovers, it is hard to believe we have gone this long without an iPod! However, since we haven't had a computer at home, the iPod wouldn't have been so useful. In any event, we've decided to get an MacBook so will head to the Apple store next weekend. Added bonus, my friend Dave who is an Apple-fan/dork might be visiting, so we can get the experience of going to the Apple store with someone who loves going just for the sake of going. Very exciting!
- I take my last antibiotic for strep throat tonight:) Yeah. For me, the worst part of it was just that day or two before I got the antibiotics. I have sympathy for is prone to strep. It is no fun.
- For some reason yesterday, I was thinking of my friend Shauli and her husband Eric. About 8 years ago, right after they were married, they let Derek and I stay with them for ten days while we visited San Diego. I was just thinking of how nice they were to let us be there for so long! We appreciated it at the time, but when I think of it now I appreciate it even more. Especially because this trip was the first time that either of them actually met Derek - they just opened up their home to us out of love for me. Anyway, while we were there they threw a little surprise party for Derek for his birthday (which we celebrated during that trip) and my friends Agatha and Jeff came to their house for it. The night included Agatha trying to walk inside from the porch, and walking right into the screen door. It was so funny and classic, and Ag handled it all in stride. And Shauli and Eric simply said , " DOn't worry. We need new doors anyway." And they did in fact replace their doors with french doors soon after. It makes me laugh just to think of and makes me miss Shauli and Agatha and Eric and Jeff even more:)
- I thought of that story yesterday while I was upstairs watching football. Derek was downstairs and when he heard me laugh, he came up to see what I was doing. I told him, "Just thinking of our trip to San Diego when you went out that first time." And he said, "Oh, and Agatha walking into the screen door" and he smiled a smile that you can only have when you are thinking of a really close friend.
- I think we are taking a 4-5 day trip down to North Carolina and staying at our friend's beach house in February. It is a 10 hour trip, so one the dogs can easily do with us. I am so excited!
- I am really really hoping that San Diego beats the Patriots next week, both for personal and professional reasons. The thought makes me smile because I know that they are so capable of it.
- Despite our need to re-conform our lives to a new budget, we decided not to go to the free first Saturday of the month event at the Brooklyn Museum (which still has the Annie Leibovitz exhibit) and went to dinner and to watch the Saturday night football game instead. Stupid choice, given one event was free, the other involved paying money for food after having just gone grocery shopping. However, given the stories of the mass crowds at the museum this Saturday night, the inability to move and to even get to the floor with the great exhibit (one that I have already seen), and our neighbors' need to escape through the back exit because of the overwhelming crowd, it was a GOOD CHOICE! Good food, nice waiter, good view of the game, and a nice walk.
- Did I mention that I got the hole in my Seven jeans patched up? I think they are going to last another 3 years!! Yay!
- It was 72 degrees in NYC on Saturday. I went on a run Prospect Park, and felt overdressed in my capri-length running pants and a short sleeve t-shirt. I ran into a friend of mine at the Farmer's market, who had just gone on a run, too, who was in shorts and a tank top. 72 degrees on January 6th! It was crazy, and actually a little warm for the run. There was no wind whatsoever. However, much better than being too bitter cold to go outside.
- I am about to go get a frappucino from Starbucks. Yum:)
Friday, January 05, 2007
One Body Fits All Sizes
I am avid about donating clothes and cleaning out closets. I believe each time you buy something new, you get rid of something old. This is partly my nature, but partly a trait that has been nurtured from years of living in New York City (where "no closet space" is an overstatement). So...my closets and drawers are filled only with clothes I wear (with the additional of 3 sentimental/fun pieces that I don't wear, but that certainly fit me). Clothes that fit me, that I like putting on, that look decent on any given day or for any given occasion. That means, my closet is full of clothes ranging in size from 2 to 12. Okay, so I only have one item that is a size 2, and only two that are a size 12. But that still leaves a wide range of 4, 6, 8, and 10.
If someone asks me what size I wear, 10 would be my first instinct. "I am a perfect 10" is typically my proud, somewhat sarcastic, answer. Typically 10s fit, often I get them home and realize that I should have gone for the size 8. But when I try them on, I sometimes fear that I need more of a 8.25 or 8.5, and it is easier to shrink or take in clothes than to expand them (oh, and if you ever wondered, dry cleaning does shrink clothes! it is not you, you are bloated, you haven't gained yet. the clothes shrunk. i recently put our living room drapes in the dry cleaner to make them look like new.....the drapes that once swept gently across the floor now are at least 3 inches off the ground. terrific....but i digress).
i have a pair of capri pants from Banana Republic. their clothes fit me well...i saw the pants, and loved them. i wanted a 10, they only had a 12 or a 6. i tried both on. i swam in the 12 and, when i put the 6 on, the clerk, my husband, and my little sister (well, not my sister, but she lived with my family for many years, and is therefore like a sister) all wondered why the hell i thought i needed a 10. the 6 fits great and has for 3 1/2 years. but, i thought i needed a 10 because all the other clothes that i have that are a size 10 - some from BR - fit great too.
my go to little black dress? a 4. my go to long summer dress that i love? a 12. my go to jeans (in the event I am not wearing my Sevens that don't come in 6-8-10-12, which is a rare occasion)...an 8. my favorite Laundry suit for work? a 10. my favorite black pants? a 10. my second favorite black pants? a 6. my favorite summer brown skirt? a small. my second favorite summer skirt? a 10. my favorite black work shirt? a 6. my favorite brown shirt? a 12. my light tan capris? a 4. my favorite sweater? a medium. my second favorite sweater? a large. my favorite tank sweater to wear with my suits? a small.
So when I hear my colleague today saying that she refuses to wear anything over a size 6, i not only have additional reason not to like her (which i don't, for many reasons, but i won't get started on those reasons b/c then i will really digress), but i also just don't get it. If clothes fit nicely, they look good. If I see two people, about the same size, and one tries to fit into something too small -- she looks much bigger to me than someone who wears the size that fits. And unlike some men's clothes, no one has to know the size you are wearing but YOU (the size of our jeans aren't typically spread across the back of them, like the old school men's Levi's). Clothes that fit look good. Clothes that are too small or too big don't look as good. And we ("we" meaning me and everyone else in the world) don't look as good in them.
And I think my wardrobe should show - the size of our clothes says nothing about our bodies. My body doesn't morph from a tiny little 4 to an average size 12 depending on what I am wearing. Neither does anyone else's. The clothes are just cut different, made differently, happen to fit differently. I'd lie if I said I was a "size 4" or if I said I was a "size 12," but not because I don't wear both of those sizes. I just don't fit the body type people associate with those sizes. (Actually, to be honest, I don't fit any body type, which is consistently disappoints me each time I read the magazine articles that share what clothes best flatter which bodies).
So I know I am preaching to the converted, because of those of you I know read this blog, I know you think the same as I do on this point. But in the case of clothes, our bodies don't come in perfect sizes. They don't correlate with the 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, etc...that we see in the store. And they shouldn't. And we shouldn't care.
However - my husband's wardrobe -- size 34/34 pants, size L shirts (with the occasional XL) across the board:)
If someone asks me what size I wear, 10 would be my first instinct. "I am a perfect 10" is typically my proud, somewhat sarcastic, answer. Typically 10s fit, often I get them home and realize that I should have gone for the size 8. But when I try them on, I sometimes fear that I need more of a 8.25 or 8.5, and it is easier to shrink or take in clothes than to expand them (oh, and if you ever wondered, dry cleaning does shrink clothes! it is not you, you are bloated, you haven't gained yet. the clothes shrunk. i recently put our living room drapes in the dry cleaner to make them look like new.....the drapes that once swept gently across the floor now are at least 3 inches off the ground. terrific....but i digress).
i have a pair of capri pants from Banana Republic. their clothes fit me well...i saw the pants, and loved them. i wanted a 10, they only had a 12 or a 6. i tried both on. i swam in the 12 and, when i put the 6 on, the clerk, my husband, and my little sister (well, not my sister, but she lived with my family for many years, and is therefore like a sister) all wondered why the hell i thought i needed a 10. the 6 fits great and has for 3 1/2 years. but, i thought i needed a 10 because all the other clothes that i have that are a size 10 - some from BR - fit great too.
my go to little black dress? a 4. my go to long summer dress that i love? a 12. my go to jeans (in the event I am not wearing my Sevens that don't come in 6-8-10-12, which is a rare occasion)...an 8. my favorite Laundry suit for work? a 10. my favorite black pants? a 10. my second favorite black pants? a 6. my favorite summer brown skirt? a small. my second favorite summer skirt? a 10. my favorite black work shirt? a 6. my favorite brown shirt? a 12. my light tan capris? a 4. my favorite sweater? a medium. my second favorite sweater? a large. my favorite tank sweater to wear with my suits? a small.
So when I hear my colleague today saying that she refuses to wear anything over a size 6, i not only have additional reason not to like her (which i don't, for many reasons, but i won't get started on those reasons b/c then i will really digress), but i also just don't get it. If clothes fit nicely, they look good. If I see two people, about the same size, and one tries to fit into something too small -- she looks much bigger to me than someone who wears the size that fits. And unlike some men's clothes, no one has to know the size you are wearing but YOU (the size of our jeans aren't typically spread across the back of them, like the old school men's Levi's). Clothes that fit look good. Clothes that are too small or too big don't look as good. And we ("we" meaning me and everyone else in the world) don't look as good in them.
And I think my wardrobe should show - the size of our clothes says nothing about our bodies. My body doesn't morph from a tiny little 4 to an average size 12 depending on what I am wearing. Neither does anyone else's. The clothes are just cut different, made differently, happen to fit differently. I'd lie if I said I was a "size 4" or if I said I was a "size 12," but not because I don't wear both of those sizes. I just don't fit the body type people associate with those sizes. (Actually, to be honest, I don't fit any body type, which is consistently disappoints me each time I read the magazine articles that share what clothes best flatter which bodies).
So I know I am preaching to the converted, because of those of you I know read this blog, I know you think the same as I do on this point. But in the case of clothes, our bodies don't come in perfect sizes. They don't correlate with the 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, etc...that we see in the store. And they shouldn't. And we shouldn't care.
However - my husband's wardrobe -- size 34/34 pants, size L shirts (with the occasional XL) across the board:)
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Mostly Mindless List
A (mostly) mindless, somewhat interesting list that came my way via email. Rather than delete it, I'll answer the questions!
1. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone? Oh, April's Fool Day, 1994. I was home from college for a visit - not sure why. I woke up early on a Saturday morning and went to a liquor store where you could purchase lottery tickets. The drawing was the night before, and you could ask for a printout of the winning numbers. The ticket looks very very very similar to a real ticket except for a disclaimer at the bottom. I went home with the ticket, woke one of my little brothers, and asked him to show me where the lottery numbers were listed in the newspaper. Annoyed with me that I woke him up for this, I decided to be more of a pest and have him compare the numbers for me on "the ticket that I bought last night." He did. With each number, he started getting more excited and he actually hyper-ventilated adn called me dad (who was working) and i think tears were in his eyes because I won! I won! It was hilarious. I did not think of this prank alone - I think my dad thought of it, too. I never would have known about the winning numbers printout on my own.
2. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be and how long would it take you to spend the $10,000? Nordstrom, for the diversity of stuff I could get there. Sadly, it wouldn't take me long to spend it. A couple hours, if that.
3. If money were not an object, what would you do with your life? Be a photographer who travels the world, have lots of kids and rescue lots of animals and somehow earn the right to walk the red carpet one day.
4. Which celebrity would you most like to meet in person? Right now, Kate Winslet. Although Jon Stewart and Jimmy Kimmel usually top my list.
5. Which author would you most like to meet in person? John Grogan of "Marley and Me" fame.
6. What is the weirdest thing you will ever admit to having done in the past? I love to dip french fries in milkshakes. On a business trip with a partner at the law firm I used to work at (just me and the partner), I did this with him without shame. I like to think that is why he liked me so much and didn't want me to leave the firm.
7. What song best describes you when you first wake up in the morning? Is there a song that says something like i don't want to get out of bed because I love the peaceful sound of mornings, and my dogs sleeping, and the comfort of being in my bed with cool air surrouding me. And i know, I just know, that the resst of the day won't be so peaceful..... There is some song like "I don't want to move..." but it is at the tip of my mind and I can't think of it.
8. What place in the US would you most like to visit? Why? Right now I am thinking Idaho, in a cabin on the lake. Because it sounds peaceful and I heard it is beautiful.
9. What place outside of the US would you most like to visit? Why? So many places, hard to narrow to just one. Tanzania - because Mieke told me about the safari she went on there and it just sounded like something I would love soooooooo much.
10. Coke or Pepsi? Coke.
11. Is your calendar always on the correct month (or day, if it is a day calendar)? I don't even have a hard calendar. My Outlook calendar does all the work for me.
12. Desk: messy or organized? Organized comparied to those around me. Messier than I would like it to be.
13. Pet ownership – which is better? Dog or Cat? I've always had dogs.....but we want to add a cat to the family, too. Nothing feels better than giving an animal in need of a home a good home - cat or dog. Or coming in the door and having either a dog or a cat be sooooo happy to see you.
14. What is your favorite television show, and what is the last TV show you watched? Grey's Anatomy. With lots of close seconds - How I Met Your Mother, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Reba (yes, Reba!), Without a Trace. Last night I watched Friday Night Lights then a PBS/Channel 13 special on Annie Liebovitz. It was great.
15. Are you always early or terminally late? Always always always early.
16. American Idol fan? If so, then – Elliott, Katharine, or Taylor? Relunctant fan. I kind of like all three of these equally - depending on what they sing.
17. What is your favorite book you read as a child? I remember loving Stuart Little. And all the Judy Blume books.
18. What talent would your friends be surprised to hear you have? I have so many talents...and I endlessly acknowledge them, so my friends would not be surprised at any of them:) Or, to be honest, I have so few that none are surprising:) Surprising talent of my husband's - he is an amazing artist! He can draw like a pro.....
19. Who would you want to play you in the movie about your life (pick for various stages if you like)? Kate Winslet now. Susan Surandon when I am older.
20. What is your all time favorite (clean) joke? I can't think of a real "joke" that I have heard, though many make me laugh. But just about any joke out of Jon Stewart's mouth makes me laugh (and are typically "clean").
21. Last movie you saw: Notes on a Scandal. Don't see it. Doesn't deserve the acclaim it is getting.
22. And the last movie before that one: "Sweet Home Alabama" -- being aired on tv over the weekend.
23. Last book you read: I am reading Half of a Yellow Sun. Excellent. Last book that I finished -- What is the What by Dave Eggers. Excellent.
24. And the last book before that one: Adventures of Biscuit - to my nephew:) Excellent!:)
25. What is the name of your autobiography? Hartbeats:) Hey, I actually wrote part of one in college! That was the name, and I still like it.
26. What is your most charming characteristic? That I am down to earth, or my self-deprecating humor.
27. What characteristic do you wish you naturally had? A quick, intelligent wit.
28. What would your closest friend be surprised to hear about you? That I live in fear that one day everyone is going to figure out that I am not that smart. Or maybe not, since I think I have told all my closest friends this before.
29. What do you consider your best physical feature? My eyes. Although, I have been told a surprising number of times that I have a great smile - so now I see my smile in a whole new light. I love it:)
30. What phyisical characteristic do you wish you naturally had? A tiny waist. But I wouldn't trade those features I do have just for that one (or, at least I tell myself I wouldn't!).
31. Can you say that you have a friend whose name begins with each letter of the alphabet? Wow, I had to think this one through. I definitely have current acquaintences, if not friends, that cover the entire alphabet. Over the course of my life, I have had friends whose names begin with everything except the letter X and Y. Oh wait, I take that back. Only missing X - had a good friend in college whose name started with Y. And though I don't keep in touch with the entire alphabet, I'd be thrilled to see any of them today (except the letter Q, who I never should have befriended to begin with).
1. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone? Oh, April's Fool Day, 1994. I was home from college for a visit - not sure why. I woke up early on a Saturday morning and went to a liquor store where you could purchase lottery tickets. The drawing was the night before, and you could ask for a printout of the winning numbers. The ticket looks very very very similar to a real ticket except for a disclaimer at the bottom. I went home with the ticket, woke one of my little brothers, and asked him to show me where the lottery numbers were listed in the newspaper. Annoyed with me that I woke him up for this, I decided to be more of a pest and have him compare the numbers for me on "the ticket that I bought last night." He did. With each number, he started getting more excited and he actually hyper-ventilated adn called me dad (who was working) and i think tears were in his eyes because I won! I won! It was hilarious. I did not think of this prank alone - I think my dad thought of it, too. I never would have known about the winning numbers printout on my own.
2. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be and how long would it take you to spend the $10,000? Nordstrom, for the diversity of stuff I could get there. Sadly, it wouldn't take me long to spend it. A couple hours, if that.
3. If money were not an object, what would you do with your life? Be a photographer who travels the world, have lots of kids and rescue lots of animals and somehow earn the right to walk the red carpet one day.
4. Which celebrity would you most like to meet in person? Right now, Kate Winslet. Although Jon Stewart and Jimmy Kimmel usually top my list.
5. Which author would you most like to meet in person? John Grogan of "Marley and Me" fame.
6. What is the weirdest thing you will ever admit to having done in the past? I love to dip french fries in milkshakes. On a business trip with a partner at the law firm I used to work at (just me and the partner), I did this with him without shame. I like to think that is why he liked me so much and didn't want me to leave the firm.
7. What song best describes you when you first wake up in the morning? Is there a song that says something like i don't want to get out of bed because I love the peaceful sound of mornings, and my dogs sleeping, and the comfort of being in my bed with cool air surrouding me. And i know, I just know, that the resst of the day won't be so peaceful..... There is some song like "I don't want to move..." but it is at the tip of my mind and I can't think of it.
8. What place in the US would you most like to visit? Why? Right now I am thinking Idaho, in a cabin on the lake. Because it sounds peaceful and I heard it is beautiful.
9. What place outside of the US would you most like to visit? Why? So many places, hard to narrow to just one. Tanzania - because Mieke told me about the safari she went on there and it just sounded like something I would love soooooooo much.
10. Coke or Pepsi? Coke.
11. Is your calendar always on the correct month (or day, if it is a day calendar)? I don't even have a hard calendar. My Outlook calendar does all the work for me.
12. Desk: messy or organized? Organized comparied to those around me. Messier than I would like it to be.
13. Pet ownership – which is better? Dog or Cat? I've always had dogs.....but we want to add a cat to the family, too. Nothing feels better than giving an animal in need of a home a good home - cat or dog. Or coming in the door and having either a dog or a cat be sooooo happy to see you.
14. What is your favorite television show, and what is the last TV show you watched? Grey's Anatomy. With lots of close seconds - How I Met Your Mother, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Reba (yes, Reba!), Without a Trace. Last night I watched Friday Night Lights then a PBS/Channel 13 special on Annie Liebovitz. It was great.
15. Are you always early or terminally late? Always always always early.
16. American Idol fan? If so, then – Elliott, Katharine, or Taylor? Relunctant fan. I kind of like all three of these equally - depending on what they sing.
17. What is your favorite book you read as a child? I remember loving Stuart Little. And all the Judy Blume books.
18. What talent would your friends be surprised to hear you have? I have so many talents...and I endlessly acknowledge them, so my friends would not be surprised at any of them:) Or, to be honest, I have so few that none are surprising:) Surprising talent of my husband's - he is an amazing artist! He can draw like a pro.....
19. Who would you want to play you in the movie about your life (pick for various stages if you like)? Kate Winslet now. Susan Surandon when I am older.
20. What is your all time favorite (clean) joke? I can't think of a real "joke" that I have heard, though many make me laugh. But just about any joke out of Jon Stewart's mouth makes me laugh (and are typically "clean").
21. Last movie you saw: Notes on a Scandal. Don't see it. Doesn't deserve the acclaim it is getting.
22. And the last movie before that one: "Sweet Home Alabama" -- being aired on tv over the weekend.
23. Last book you read: I am reading Half of a Yellow Sun. Excellent. Last book that I finished -- What is the What by Dave Eggers. Excellent.
24. And the last book before that one: Adventures of Biscuit - to my nephew:) Excellent!:)
25. What is the name of your autobiography? Hartbeats:) Hey, I actually wrote part of one in college! That was the name, and I still like it.
26. What is your most charming characteristic? That I am down to earth, or my self-deprecating humor.
27. What characteristic do you wish you naturally had? A quick, intelligent wit.
28. What would your closest friend be surprised to hear about you? That I live in fear that one day everyone is going to figure out that I am not that smart. Or maybe not, since I think I have told all my closest friends this before.
29. What do you consider your best physical feature? My eyes. Although, I have been told a surprising number of times that I have a great smile - so now I see my smile in a whole new light. I love it:)
30. What phyisical characteristic do you wish you naturally had? A tiny waist. But I wouldn't trade those features I do have just for that one (or, at least I tell myself I wouldn't!).
31. Can you say that you have a friend whose name begins with each letter of the alphabet? Wow, I had to think this one through. I definitely have current acquaintences, if not friends, that cover the entire alphabet. Over the course of my life, I have had friends whose names begin with everything except the letter X and Y. Oh wait, I take that back. Only missing X - had a good friend in college whose name started with Y. And though I don't keep in touch with the entire alphabet, I'd be thrilled to see any of them today (except the letter Q, who I never should have befriended to begin with).
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
To Temper My Rosy Suggestions..
Before I went to sleep last night, I was thinking of my last post and thought that it makes my relationship with Derek sound all too perfect. I was explaining this to him - and we both laughed. While all the things I said about him and our 2006 and our relationship is true -- I left out some of the funnier highlights (or lowlights, depending on when the story is told) from 2006. These include our infamous fight a couple months ago that started because I was not so eloquently saying that I was excited for him to get a job - not because of finances or money or anything, but because I know he was looking forward to having one, having structure, and having that day-to-day responsibility. I was just saying that I wanted for him all the things he was wanting. In any event, this came out wrong, we got in a full fledge screaming match (okay, I screamed, he just raised his voice) that all of our neighbors heard. I went out of the apartment to go get our laundry from the basement, and tried to talk myself into apologizing when I got back. But when I did, he was on the phone complaining about me. In my rage, I tried to grab the phone from him and somehow ended up hitting him in the face with that same phone (he claims....but I doubt). In any event, yes, that was a highlight. We laugh at it now, but that day we were both ready to sign divorce papers:)
Oh, and then there was the terrific fight we had in Oregon. He wanted to wear a white t-shirt from Wal Mart (that he would have to go buy) to our friends' rehearsal dinner. Not only do I refuse to go to Wal Mart, but I thought it was totally inappropriate. And I tried to be nice by pointing out how great he looked in the casual but nice clothes that he had that were appropriate for the occasion. This, to him, felt like I was being 'controlling' and telling him what to do. I even admitted that I was sort of telling him what to do, because it was Lauren and Mike's night and I felt I had to do so on behalf of Lauren. I was trying to joke and admit that I was being a bit overbearing but for good reason! This did not go over so well with Derek, and he got pi**ed at me. His voice raised, and I returned the emotion. We got in a huge fight over the lame white undershirts.....The fight ended with me throwing the bedding at him and then calmly calling the front desk to ask if they had an additional room available. They were a bit confused...."We do, actually. Do you guys need to chagne rooms?" I said, "No, we just need an additional room." Then I packed my stuff up and was ready to change rooms and not stay with him. He couldn't believe it - but decided I meant business. I think he wanted to laugh, but he tried to talk me out of it. Finally I said, "One of us has to get out of this room right now. If it is not me, it has to be you." So he left, told the front desk agent we didn't need the additional room, went to Wal*Mart, bought the lame t-shirts, came back to the hotel, apologized to me profusely and told me how lame the t-shirts were and how bad his idea was. We kissed and made up. And he left the t-shirts in Oregon.
Oh, and then there was the terrific fight we had in Oregon. He wanted to wear a white t-shirt from Wal Mart (that he would have to go buy) to our friends' rehearsal dinner. Not only do I refuse to go to Wal Mart, but I thought it was totally inappropriate. And I tried to be nice by pointing out how great he looked in the casual but nice clothes that he had that were appropriate for the occasion. This, to him, felt like I was being 'controlling' and telling him what to do. I even admitted that I was sort of telling him what to do, because it was Lauren and Mike's night and I felt I had to do so on behalf of Lauren. I was trying to joke and admit that I was being a bit overbearing but for good reason! This did not go over so well with Derek, and he got pi**ed at me. His voice raised, and I returned the emotion. We got in a huge fight over the lame white undershirts.....The fight ended with me throwing the bedding at him and then calmly calling the front desk to ask if they had an additional room available. They were a bit confused...."We do, actually. Do you guys need to chagne rooms?" I said, "No, we just need an additional room." Then I packed my stuff up and was ready to change rooms and not stay with him. He couldn't believe it - but decided I meant business. I think he wanted to laugh, but he tried to talk me out of it. Finally I said, "One of us has to get out of this room right now. If it is not me, it has to be you." So he left, told the front desk agent we didn't need the additional room, went to Wal*Mart, bought the lame t-shirts, came back to the hotel, apologized to me profusely and told me how lame the t-shirts were and how bad his idea was. We kissed and made up. And he left the t-shirts in Oregon.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
A New Year
First, I am glad many of you enjoyed the post about my holiday and the ever-entertaining extended family that I have. You'll be happy to know that I can probably label each holiday at home "entertaining" and "funny," if not also "surreal." So if I stick with the blog, there will be more stories in the future:)
So 2007 has begun. It is hard to believe. I spent the holiday weekend sick (strep throat....my first bout with it, ever!), so Derek and I had even more time to reflect on our 2006 and dreams for 2007.
For both of us, together and separately, 2006 was the best year of our lives, although it was plagued with plenty of days that could justify calling it the worst year ever, too. That mix of bad and good - not just in close proximity to each other, but sometimes simultaneous - is the nature of life, of course. It is probably because there was plenty of hardship, frustration, and sadness throughout this past year that we were able to appreciate all that we have and all that happened to us so much. And I know that one reason I feel closer and more in love with my husband than I did one year ago, or ever, is because of the hard things we went through. Not that our two week, romantic, indulgent trip around Italy without a care in the world didn't contribute- but the reality is that some of the difficulties of 2006 added a depth to our bond that we couldn't get from a nice vacation or promotion at work.
For me of course, I applied for my dream job and got it! There is nothing like setting your eyes on something in a dream, and having that become reality. When I thought of having the position I have now, I always considered it more of a dream than a goal. So to say that I achieved a goal gives me more credit than I deserve - although it does show that if you do the right things, take the right steps, make the right choices - and by "right" i largely just mean doing all the things your gut and instincts tell you to do - you put yourself in a place that will allow your dreams to possibly come true. Really, i got here because after my clerkship in California was over, and I was working at a great firm doing a type of law I absolutely did not enjoy, my gut told me that I really wanted to do IP work and I really wanted to do it in New York - a big pond - not the small pond of San Diego. And in order to do this, I had to admit I wasn't happy going to work every day, and ask my husband to move back to NY with me (despite me earlier proclaiming that I would never ever want to move back). And without Derek willingly moving to California with me, then back to New York, and being patient with my professional ups and downs, this never would have happened. So thanks to my gut and to my husband for getting me here:)
In addition to my new job, we had amazing travels this year....to Colorado a couple times, to DC (a number of times), to Oregon, and all around Italy. We went to ten-year reunions and graduation parties and birthday celebrations and weddings. We spent time with our dogs, Butter and Deuce, who are happy and healthy and active and funny. We were lucky enough to have friends and family visit us and share our life in Brooklyn with us. We got another new nephew. It was the first year in our relationship that we both had weekends off - the entire weekend every weekend!- and were able to spend it with each other. We've never had so many good dinners, seen so many good movies, shared so many laughs, gone to so many parties together. And we enjoyed it!:) And this despite also seeing each other a good deal more during the weeks too (both being home in the evenings).
And then there are those struggles I referred to earlier. Derek decided to stop working with his dad because of the hardship that placed on Derek and on his relationshipwith his father every single day. Since then, despite being such an incredible asset to anyone who needs work done, he has remained unemployed. This has, of course, been hard on us, but so much harder on Derek himself. But the man is resilient and open to lessons that many others (me) would fight and ignore rather than acknowledge. His self esteem has been knocked around, but his character and dignity have only grown.
And my family has had its share of health scares. We've had many trips to the vet with Butter, who is getting older (12 or 13?) for small health issues that we are scared will only grow with time (although, I note, he always gets accolades from the vet for how healthy he is!). Two of my grandparents were diagnosed with Parkinsons. My brother, who has epilepsy and has taken various medication to control it since he was about 5, was hospitalized for more than a month with kidney problems. For part of that time, his kidneys were failing him. Knowing that he asked my father, "Dad, am I going to die?" during the time that the doctors could not figure out what was wrong makes me feel silly for having been so scared when I found a lump that would turn out to be benign in my breast. But I was scared, and that lump (actually two) was found just two days after I gave notice at my old job and was transitioning to the new one - and grew rapidly. I've never been so scared as I was during my cab ride from my doctor's office to the MRI center, to have a mammogram and ultrasound. Or as I sat in the waiting room of the MRI center, or on the table waiting to have the ultrasound. Or during the weeks I waited before I finally had my appointment with the specialist. Or every time someone would say "You will be fine." Because maybe I would be fine, but maybe not. Maybe the lump was malignant, and it was cancer that I was scared of, not death. But the lumps were benign, and I am healthy. My brother is doing well. My grandparents are doing well.
And I have a husband who let me cry and scream and yell whenever I needed to, and who helped me laugh when I needed to. And who let me see him cry. And who called my family to say hi and who called my brother to check on him - not because I asked him to, but because he wanted to. And who always - always - gave me his best, whether we were lounging along the Amalfi coast soaking in the sun and taking siestas, or were waiting in the recovery section of NYU Cancer clinic waiting for the nurse to give me the okay to go home.
And that, in a nutshell, was 2006.
So 2007 has begun. It is hard to believe. I spent the holiday weekend sick (strep throat....my first bout with it, ever!), so Derek and I had even more time to reflect on our 2006 and dreams for 2007.
For both of us, together and separately, 2006 was the best year of our lives, although it was plagued with plenty of days that could justify calling it the worst year ever, too. That mix of bad and good - not just in close proximity to each other, but sometimes simultaneous - is the nature of life, of course. It is probably because there was plenty of hardship, frustration, and sadness throughout this past year that we were able to appreciate all that we have and all that happened to us so much. And I know that one reason I feel closer and more in love with my husband than I did one year ago, or ever, is because of the hard things we went through. Not that our two week, romantic, indulgent trip around Italy without a care in the world didn't contribute- but the reality is that some of the difficulties of 2006 added a depth to our bond that we couldn't get from a nice vacation or promotion at work.
For me of course, I applied for my dream job and got it! There is nothing like setting your eyes on something in a dream, and having that become reality. When I thought of having the position I have now, I always considered it more of a dream than a goal. So to say that I achieved a goal gives me more credit than I deserve - although it does show that if you do the right things, take the right steps, make the right choices - and by "right" i largely just mean doing all the things your gut and instincts tell you to do - you put yourself in a place that will allow your dreams to possibly come true. Really, i got here because after my clerkship in California was over, and I was working at a great firm doing a type of law I absolutely did not enjoy, my gut told me that I really wanted to do IP work and I really wanted to do it in New York - a big pond - not the small pond of San Diego. And in order to do this, I had to admit I wasn't happy going to work every day, and ask my husband to move back to NY with me (despite me earlier proclaiming that I would never ever want to move back). And without Derek willingly moving to California with me, then back to New York, and being patient with my professional ups and downs, this never would have happened. So thanks to my gut and to my husband for getting me here:)
In addition to my new job, we had amazing travels this year....to Colorado a couple times, to DC (a number of times), to Oregon, and all around Italy. We went to ten-year reunions and graduation parties and birthday celebrations and weddings. We spent time with our dogs, Butter and Deuce, who are happy and healthy and active and funny. We were lucky enough to have friends and family visit us and share our life in Brooklyn with us. We got another new nephew. It was the first year in our relationship that we both had weekends off - the entire weekend every weekend!- and were able to spend it with each other. We've never had so many good dinners, seen so many good movies, shared so many laughs, gone to so many parties together. And we enjoyed it!:) And this despite also seeing each other a good deal more during the weeks too (both being home in the evenings).
And then there are those struggles I referred to earlier. Derek decided to stop working with his dad because of the hardship that placed on Derek and on his relationshipwith his father every single day. Since then, despite being such an incredible asset to anyone who needs work done, he has remained unemployed. This has, of course, been hard on us, but so much harder on Derek himself. But the man is resilient and open to lessons that many others (me) would fight and ignore rather than acknowledge. His self esteem has been knocked around, but his character and dignity have only grown.
And my family has had its share of health scares. We've had many trips to the vet with Butter, who is getting older (12 or 13?) for small health issues that we are scared will only grow with time (although, I note, he always gets accolades from the vet for how healthy he is!). Two of my grandparents were diagnosed with Parkinsons. My brother, who has epilepsy and has taken various medication to control it since he was about 5, was hospitalized for more than a month with kidney problems. For part of that time, his kidneys were failing him. Knowing that he asked my father, "Dad, am I going to die?" during the time that the doctors could not figure out what was wrong makes me feel silly for having been so scared when I found a lump that would turn out to be benign in my breast. But I was scared, and that lump (actually two) was found just two days after I gave notice at my old job and was transitioning to the new one - and grew rapidly. I've never been so scared as I was during my cab ride from my doctor's office to the MRI center, to have a mammogram and ultrasound. Or as I sat in the waiting room of the MRI center, or on the table waiting to have the ultrasound. Or during the weeks I waited before I finally had my appointment with the specialist. Or every time someone would say "You will be fine." Because maybe I would be fine, but maybe not. Maybe the lump was malignant, and it was cancer that I was scared of, not death. But the lumps were benign, and I am healthy. My brother is doing well. My grandparents are doing well.
And I have a husband who let me cry and scream and yell whenever I needed to, and who helped me laugh when I needed to. And who let me see him cry. And who called my family to say hi and who called my brother to check on him - not because I asked him to, but because he wanted to. And who always - always - gave me his best, whether we were lounging along the Amalfi coast soaking in the sun and taking siestas, or were waiting in the recovery section of NYU Cancer clinic waiting for the nurse to give me the okay to go home.
And that, in a nutshell, was 2006.
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