I stole this from my friend Tracey, who in turn had stole it from her friend Jodi. When I read Tracey's answers, they got me in the holiday spirit and they looked alarmingly similar to ones I might write myself....But I swear, the answers are my own:)
1. EggNog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate with whip cream.
2. Does Santa wrap presents, use bags or just sit them under the tree? In my family, if Santa is female, she wraps presents. If Santa is male, he just sits them under the tree or gives them to the recipient the same day he buys it - in the bag in which he carried it home from the store.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White, white, white.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? I have before, but not in a long time. Come to think of it, I am not sure why. It reminds me of the first year we had Butter. He really only gives kisses right when I (or Derek) walk in the door (or now, first thing in the morning). I tried to associate this time of giving kisses with the mistletoe that we had by the door. But he resisted the lesson, as he does most lessons.
5. When do you put your decorations up? 2 weeks before Christmas. If we are having guests earlier in December, then earlier.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Anything my sister makes. Preferably roast and mashed potatoes!:) Yum. Or my own fresh baked cookies. Or the gingerbread cake w/ frosting that you can get at Starbucks.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Waking up with my sister and coming down stairs to see a whole Lincoln Logs city set up in our living room. We'd always have christmas morning at home with me, my parents, and siblings. Then we'd drive 2 hours to my maternal grandparents house and celebrate with that side of the family (my mom is one of five kids, and there are 11 or 12 grandchildren total). THEN we would go to my dad's parents house and celebrate with that side of the family. He is one of 12 children, and I have over 50 first cousins on that side - and now an amazing number of second cousins. In fact, a couple years ago there was a dispute over who was the 100th member of that family given various births/divorces. Each year, all 100 pack themselves into my grandparents basement for a visit from Santa (my oldest uncle) and drinks at the bar. Despite having a 3 bedroom house, and having had up to 10 kids at home at any one time, they insisted on leaving the largest room in the basement a bar (full service, i might add) rather than turn it into a bedroom. Anyway, after Christmas at my grandparents, we'd drive the two hours home sound asleep and but still somehow be fighting over who had to sit in the middle.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? 1st grade. My sister told me while we were on the playground at school before school started. This playground was where she dispelled many myths (santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy) and let me in on a number of family secrets.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? When we were kids, we always got to choose one. Now, my siblings, our spouses, and my parents do a gift exchange (draw names) and we open that present on Christmas Eve. It's always my favorite part of Christmas.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? White lights, silver and/or red decorations. I am sure it will get more colorful when kids are added to the mix.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it when it is fresh, dread it when it is still on the ground and turned into dirty sludge.
12. Can you ice skate? Yes!.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Spending it with my family, and now with my nephews.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Iced gingerbread cake from Starbucks and my own home made cookies.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Jack and cokes made by one of my uncles at my Grandpa & Grandma Hart's house. This means JACK with a little coke. And - the sibling+ gift exchange on christmas eve. And strategizing with my sister about how to spoil the exchange that all the "adults" do at the Hart's house (when your number is called, pick a gift or steal one that someone else already has....). People get sooo mad at us every year.
17. What tops your tree? I think nothing....every year, I think whatever I put on top looks funny. So i just leave it alone.
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Close call - almost equal - but I like giving a bit better. I have better luck with it.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Maybe I should not admit - but "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey. And there is a song by u2 that is sort of political and slipping my mind right now but is a great holiday song - and I don't generally like the band.
20. Candy Canes or Chocolate Covered Cherries? I'd go with candy canes, but I could skip both.
21. Favorite Christmas movie: Maybe I should also not admit this - but none stick out to me. I'm looking forward to The Holiday with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz. I've seen very very very of the classics (maybe none of them).
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Daily Feelings
Top Ten emotions of my day today:
- Frustration
- Anger
- Sadness
- Frustration
- Boxed in
- Restricted
- Frustration
- Regret
- Overlooked
- Underappreciated
Seeming that I spent all but 2 hours of my waking day at work, one can imagine where these feelings came from. I am sure tomorrow will be different. I am sure I will feel different once I get home. But it's worth noting that this is my dream job - one that I have wanted for a long time and one that I really like. And yet, days like this exist. They'll be more, I am sure, and I won't like any of them. Hopefully, they'll just continue to be many more days when my top ten feelings don't include "frustration" three times and other traditionally not-fun feelings.
However, because of the feelings described above, I have no desire to do much of anything.....except possibly eat:) I am starving.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Monday...
We had a great long weekend. Thursday it was very rainy and windy here in NYC, so the 5-mile run (to raise money for a local high school track team) was cancelled. Well, actually, I don't know if it was cancelled. I do know that we (me and my friends Mike & Lauren) decided not to brave the elements. Derek and I met up with Mike & Lauren for our "traditional" dinner at ESPN Zone.....no cooking, no cleaning, good dessert, and funny, despite how "untraditional" it is. We had a great time. We then all caught the worst movie ever - Tenacious D (with Jack Black). The funniest part of the movie event - Derek's "awe" at how nice the Time Square movie theatre was and how much it had changed since the days when he was a teenager. "Oh, wow, they have an escalator. And a pay phone" For some reason (being overfed), Lauren and I thought this was the funniest statement ever and couldn't stop laughing for a while. One might have even thought we were laughing at the movie, but they would have been wrong. I just finished reading "What Is The What" - by Dave Eggers about the refugees ("the Lost Boys") from Sudan. It reminded me of how one of the Lost Boys said he felt the first time he went to a more industrialized city and how some felt upon their arrival to the U.S.
On Friday, Derek and I went shopping for one specific item - running shoes for me. I had been wearing mine for way too long, and he was quite tired of me complaining about my achey shins and calves. I went to the Nike store knowing that I wear Nike for my narrow feet, and knowing they'd have the most selection for me. We promised ourselves patience wtih the crowd. This didn't prove to be a problem since I was the only one actually trying on shoes - and everyone else was just blind purchasing. After trying on 9 pairs, I found my match. As soon as I slipped them on - ahh, heaven. Cushioning and support once again!
To honor my new purchase, I agreed to run a 15k with Lauren on Sunday. She is training for an ironman triathlon, and is a great marathoner runner. So for her, this would be a fast training race. For me, this would be about 1.5 more miles than I have run anytime recently. If you exclude two 7.5 mile runs that I did in the past couple months, this is about 3-4 miles more than I have done since college. I am the queen of short-er, intense runs and track workouts instead of "long" runs that are so in vogue:) Anyway, so I agreed to this 9.3 mile (15k). It turned out to be an awesome, beautiful day outside, and Mike joined us since I was doing it, too. The course was pretty, but not fun. 2 out of every 3 miles was uphill, and there was a mix of gradual hills and steep hills and it was pretty much ... painful. Luckily, Lauren agreed so that helped my ego. I felt accomplished when it was done and felt like I had a pass to be as totally lazy as possible the remainder of the afternoon. Which I was. Derek cooked a delicious dinner for us....we looked at pictures of children in need of homes in Colorado (my sister sent me a link, and each story pulled us in, and we were on the verge of adopting 3 kids ranging in age from 6 to 14) and we watched Home Makeover (about a large Tongan family with 8 kids who live in Utah, which seemed to verify for us that we needed to start adopting and/or having kids so that we, too, could have a family with 8 kids).
We don't have much planned now until December 16th....We are having a few of our closest friends over for a small holiday party that night. We are trying to start a new tradition since we have to change our annual Super Bowl party (I will typically be at the Super Bowl now, and not able to host....Although this sounds great, our Super Bowl party has always been one of my favorite things so I am slightly sad over the change...).
On Friday, Derek and I went shopping for one specific item - running shoes for me. I had been wearing mine for way too long, and he was quite tired of me complaining about my achey shins and calves. I went to the Nike store knowing that I wear Nike for my narrow feet, and knowing they'd have the most selection for me. We promised ourselves patience wtih the crowd. This didn't prove to be a problem since I was the only one actually trying on shoes - and everyone else was just blind purchasing. After trying on 9 pairs, I found my match. As soon as I slipped them on - ahh, heaven. Cushioning and support once again!
To honor my new purchase, I agreed to run a 15k with Lauren on Sunday. She is training for an ironman triathlon, and is a great marathoner runner. So for her, this would be a fast training race. For me, this would be about 1.5 more miles than I have run anytime recently. If you exclude two 7.5 mile runs that I did in the past couple months, this is about 3-4 miles more than I have done since college. I am the queen of short-er, intense runs and track workouts instead of "long" runs that are so in vogue:) Anyway, so I agreed to this 9.3 mile (15k). It turned out to be an awesome, beautiful day outside, and Mike joined us since I was doing it, too. The course was pretty, but not fun. 2 out of every 3 miles was uphill, and there was a mix of gradual hills and steep hills and it was pretty much ... painful. Luckily, Lauren agreed so that helped my ego. I felt accomplished when it was done and felt like I had a pass to be as totally lazy as possible the remainder of the afternoon. Which I was. Derek cooked a delicious dinner for us....we looked at pictures of children in need of homes in Colorado (my sister sent me a link, and each story pulled us in, and we were on the verge of adopting 3 kids ranging in age from 6 to 14) and we watched Home Makeover (about a large Tongan family with 8 kids who live in Utah, which seemed to verify for us that we needed to start adopting and/or having kids so that we, too, could have a family with 8 kids).
We don't have much planned now until December 16th....We are having a few of our closest friends over for a small holiday party that night. We are trying to start a new tradition since we have to change our annual Super Bowl party (I will typically be at the Super Bowl now, and not able to host....Although this sounds great, our Super Bowl party has always been one of my favorite things so I am slightly sad over the change...).
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Thanksgiving
Yum, I love thanksgiving. I love the meal (mashed potatoes!, green bean casserole!, stuffing!, pumpkin pie with whip cream! yum!). Also, each year we go out with two of our friends that live here in the city as well and who don't go home for the holidays. We are very connected to Mike & Lauren. I met Lauren when I was the assistant swim coach at NYU (she swam - she is an amazing athlete)....Derek and I were introduced through Lauren, and I returned the favor a year later and introduced her to Mike, whom I taught with during my couple years as a teacher. We also coached basketball together - what an experience. In any event, we are married now, they are married now, and they are certainly two of the best people I have ever met.
Which leads to one point of this blog - what I am thankful for. Whenever I am feeling down, or need some reassurance that things will work out, I always list in my head what I am thankful for. It takes quite a while, because I am specific - I think of each person, of each quality that I have, of each opportunity or experience - and the list is long. When I try to generalize it, it seems like it doesn't do it justice - the people or the things that I am thankful for deserve so much more than I can give them in a short list.
Which leads to another point of this blog - short lists, and a particular short list. The other night I pulled out this box of stuff in order to make sure some things were in there. I had a panic that during our move to New York in 2005, I didn't know where I put a disc with some of our wedding pictures or the handkerchief that I used to wrap the bottom of my bouquet. It was my "something old" and was one of my grandfather's hankerchief's, who had passed away in 1994. We got married on July 4 (2002) and my memories of the 4th have always been tied to my grandpa. It wasn't the only reason we chose that day, but it certainly added to how special it was.
Anyway, I came across a number of things I had saved (including exactly what I was looking for! so happy I know that I placed these items in a safe place), including this "list" of qualities I wanted in a significant other. It was written on a small thin piece of paper that I recognized as slips that are available in library to jot things down. Although I am sure I have been in a library since college (during my masters program, as a teacher, during law school....), I know I had this slip from when I worked in a library during college - and I had written it with a pencil, and the pencil was fading but still clearly readable. The "qualities" were quite simple - and can't even really be called "qualities". I guess it was more a list of what I wanted in a relationship with someone. Someone to laugh with; someone to hold me when I cry; someone who likes to dance; someone who wants my opinion; someone who i want to talk to right before i go sleep. I think there was one other. I think I wrote this in 1996 - maybe 1995. Happy to say, all items are checked off and seem so very very pale in comparison to what I actually have!:) (Funny how you think you know what is really important when you are 21 or 22, but you are either far off or at least very narrow in what you know). It was a nice reminder.....Which even the most grateful, let alone me, need sometimes!
Which leads to one point of this blog - what I am thankful for. Whenever I am feeling down, or need some reassurance that things will work out, I always list in my head what I am thankful for. It takes quite a while, because I am specific - I think of each person, of each quality that I have, of each opportunity or experience - and the list is long. When I try to generalize it, it seems like it doesn't do it justice - the people or the things that I am thankful for deserve so much more than I can give them in a short list.
Which leads to another point of this blog - short lists, and a particular short list. The other night I pulled out this box of stuff in order to make sure some things were in there. I had a panic that during our move to New York in 2005, I didn't know where I put a disc with some of our wedding pictures or the handkerchief that I used to wrap the bottom of my bouquet. It was my "something old" and was one of my grandfather's hankerchief's, who had passed away in 1994. We got married on July 4 (2002) and my memories of the 4th have always been tied to my grandpa. It wasn't the only reason we chose that day, but it certainly added to how special it was.
Anyway, I came across a number of things I had saved (including exactly what I was looking for! so happy I know that I placed these items in a safe place), including this "list" of qualities I wanted in a significant other. It was written on a small thin piece of paper that I recognized as slips that are available in library to jot things down. Although I am sure I have been in a library since college (during my masters program, as a teacher, during law school....), I know I had this slip from when I worked in a library during college - and I had written it with a pencil, and the pencil was fading but still clearly readable. The "qualities" were quite simple - and can't even really be called "qualities". I guess it was more a list of what I wanted in a relationship with someone. Someone to laugh with; someone to hold me when I cry; someone who likes to dance; someone who wants my opinion; someone who i want to talk to right before i go sleep. I think there was one other. I think I wrote this in 1996 - maybe 1995. Happy to say, all items are checked off and seem so very very pale in comparison to what I actually have!:) (Funny how you think you know what is really important when you are 21 or 22, but you are either far off or at least very narrow in what you know). It was a nice reminder.....Which even the most grateful, let alone me, need sometimes!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Overdose of pictures
Here are some pictures we took over the weekend....trying to get a good family portrait was no easy task. My theory, the more you take, the better your chances of liking just one!!! We ended up liking quite a few, and some even have some personality:)
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=9CYsnDdu3Yuk
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=9CYsnDdu3Yuk
Monday, November 20, 2006
End of a long, long day
Did anyone catch in my last post when I said I "got" to talk to the press Friday night? As if I "got" to do a good thing? I feel differently now.
I keep redrafting this blog b/c I need to vent about, but don't think the blog is the place to do that given its accessibility to unknown hands (another thing that a friend of mine dealt with today!). In any event, today has been a whirldwind of press making a mountain out of a molehill, despite my attempts (and the attempts of my well-versed colleagues) to prevent just that by taking the time to give them more info last Friday than we otherwise might normally do. My phone has literally rung 81 times. I've tried my best to avoid the phone calls, only to pick up when I shouldn't have and - in large part due to my inexperience with the press - allowed myself to be taken advantage of and said more than I needed to say. Not anyone's fault - only myself to blame. They were doing their job, and doing well, at that.
Though I can't explain more, the topic of interest could not be more benign or un-interesting. I could explain more if we were talking face to face but none of you, I trust, would be remotely interested in this!!!! I am just kicking myself. No harm done really - I just got some "air" time on local tv stations in Lubbock, Texas....which I am finding ironic, because one of the 7 people that I learned had a blog before I started this blog I had recently gotten in touch with merely b/c I had found out that she moved to Texas (not Lubbock, but still Texas). Now, I am happy I got in touch with her. But I am not so happy with Texas right this moment, and somehow I find the connection amusingly ironic:). I didn't say anything that was bad or harmful or inaccurate, just probably didn't sound as eloquent in these sound clips as I would hope to sound, especially when I should not have said anything.
My colleagues have told me to stop beating myself up over it. And they are right, I should. And I am glad I learned the lessons I did learn today with the only result that I am beating myself up rather than someone else doing the beating (did I mention I love this job???). But man, it hasn't been fun.
And the 81 calls wasted enough of my time that I did not get out of here early enough to make it to Capoeira.
But, luckily enough, there is always tomorrow...
And tomorrow I wake up with a total new found respect for the White House press secretary, even if I have little respect for others in the White House.
I keep redrafting this blog b/c I need to vent about, but don't think the blog is the place to do that given its accessibility to unknown hands (another thing that a friend of mine dealt with today!). In any event, today has been a whirldwind of press making a mountain out of a molehill, despite my attempts (and the attempts of my well-versed colleagues) to prevent just that by taking the time to give them more info last Friday than we otherwise might normally do. My phone has literally rung 81 times. I've tried my best to avoid the phone calls, only to pick up when I shouldn't have and - in large part due to my inexperience with the press - allowed myself to be taken advantage of and said more than I needed to say. Not anyone's fault - only myself to blame. They were doing their job, and doing well, at that.
Though I can't explain more, the topic of interest could not be more benign or un-interesting. I could explain more if we were talking face to face but none of you, I trust, would be remotely interested in this!!!! I am just kicking myself. No harm done really - I just got some "air" time on local tv stations in Lubbock, Texas....which I am finding ironic, because one of the 7 people that I learned had a blog before I started this blog I had recently gotten in touch with merely b/c I had found out that she moved to Texas (not Lubbock, but still Texas). Now, I am happy I got in touch with her. But I am not so happy with Texas right this moment, and somehow I find the connection amusingly ironic:). I didn't say anything that was bad or harmful or inaccurate, just probably didn't sound as eloquent in these sound clips as I would hope to sound, especially when I should not have said anything.
My colleagues have told me to stop beating myself up over it. And they are right, I should. And I am glad I learned the lessons I did learn today with the only result that I am beating myself up rather than someone else doing the beating (did I mention I love this job???). But man, it hasn't been fun.
And the 81 calls wasted enough of my time that I did not get out of here early enough to make it to Capoeira.
But, luckily enough, there is always tomorrow...
And tomorrow I wake up with a total new found respect for the White House press secretary, even if I have little respect for others in the White House.
Weekend Visit
My mom was here from Thursday night through this morning. Derek and I just dropped her off at the airport. I thought my dad might surprise me and come with her, although he wasn't able to. In any event, it was fun. She spent the day with Derek while I worked on Friday - working out and doing a bit of shopping. Toward the end of the day, they came up to my job so my mom could see the offices and meet some of my colleagues. I had planned on getting out of here around 5, but we had some unexpected events come up on Friday and I had to (got to) deal with "press calls" and make "press statements" for the first time. It was fun, but a bit harder than I expected since you often have speaking points that you want to say but that do not match up with the questions you are asked. I will have a lot of press statements around Super Bowl time, and more and more each year, so I was excited to get some under my belt and my mom and husband that it was very cool that they were here for it. We then went to one of our favorite Mexican food restaurants, Burrito Bar, and had some great fajitas and margaritas.
Saturday we went on a long run, went to a new local coffee shop that is really nice (Joyce Bake Shop) with amazing owners, walked around our neighborhood and checked out the Annie Leibovitz exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. It was quite crowded (that museum is right in our neighborhood and absolutely gorgeous, but never really crowded), but a very good exhibit so we all understood why. I am a big photography fan -- I don't know much about it, I just love photos of any sort, especially of people. There was also an exhibit of graffiti art and a booksigning by four female graffiti artists, which drew a crowd as well. Then we went to Joya for some delicious Thai food, and I forced my mom to watch Walk the Line since she had never seen it and I thought that was tragic. (This was sparked because there were a number of photos at the Annie Liebovitz exhibit of Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash, and some of their children and grandchildren). While we were renting Walk the Line, I found 4 other movies that I wanted to see too, so I ended up renting them all (Syriana, Hard Candy - recommended by my friend Laurie after I saw Patrick Wilson in Little Children, Red Dust, and something else....oh, Catch Me if You Can). Hopefully, I actually watch them over the upcoming holiday weekend! Although I bet I just watch 1, at most 2.
Yesterday, my mom and I took Butter & Deuce to the enclosed dog park. We live by Prospect Park, which is beautiful, huge and dog friendly, but I can't take Deuce off the leash there because he is unpredictable in what will catch his curiosity any given day - and usually my commands are no match for his curiosity. So we go about 1 1/2 miles away to an enclosed park which is big and nice. They were going some renovations, so 1/2 of it was closed, but both the dogs had fun anyway. We then went to the Angelika - a true NYC landmark that shows artsy sort of films, but a couple that end up being mainstream as well. We saw Candy (Heath Ledger) which was a good movie - great acting - but also hard to watch. Disturbing in some scenes. We did a few other things that are slipping my mind - christmas shopping, checking a few things out......had fun. Then watched football and baked some brownies to end the day. Simple, fun stuff.
Now back to work. Thank god it is a short workweek! Got in quite early this morning, so hoping to get out early and go to the early Capoeira class tonight. I did not get the chance to go last week, so I am excited to have a good class tonight. My instructors (a husband and wife) are on vacation (they went to Kenya to see the wife's family - she spent part of her childhood there). One of their friends from Brazil is here to fill in for them and teach all the classes, and I am excited to take classes with him.
Saturday we went on a long run, went to a new local coffee shop that is really nice (Joyce Bake Shop) with amazing owners, walked around our neighborhood and checked out the Annie Leibovitz exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. It was quite crowded (that museum is right in our neighborhood and absolutely gorgeous, but never really crowded), but a very good exhibit so we all understood why. I am a big photography fan -- I don't know much about it, I just love photos of any sort, especially of people. There was also an exhibit of graffiti art and a booksigning by four female graffiti artists, which drew a crowd as well. Then we went to Joya for some delicious Thai food, and I forced my mom to watch Walk the Line since she had never seen it and I thought that was tragic. (This was sparked because there were a number of photos at the Annie Liebovitz exhibit of Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash, and some of their children and grandchildren). While we were renting Walk the Line, I found 4 other movies that I wanted to see too, so I ended up renting them all (Syriana, Hard Candy - recommended by my friend Laurie after I saw Patrick Wilson in Little Children, Red Dust, and something else....oh, Catch Me if You Can). Hopefully, I actually watch them over the upcoming holiday weekend! Although I bet I just watch 1, at most 2.
Yesterday, my mom and I took Butter & Deuce to the enclosed dog park. We live by Prospect Park, which is beautiful, huge and dog friendly, but I can't take Deuce off the leash there because he is unpredictable in what will catch his curiosity any given day - and usually my commands are no match for his curiosity. So we go about 1 1/2 miles away to an enclosed park which is big and nice. They were going some renovations, so 1/2 of it was closed, but both the dogs had fun anyway. We then went to the Angelika - a true NYC landmark that shows artsy sort of films, but a couple that end up being mainstream as well. We saw Candy (Heath Ledger) which was a good movie - great acting - but also hard to watch. Disturbing in some scenes. We did a few other things that are slipping my mind - christmas shopping, checking a few things out......had fun. Then watched football and baked some brownies to end the day. Simple, fun stuff.
Now back to work. Thank god it is a short workweek! Got in quite early this morning, so hoping to get out early and go to the early Capoeira class tonight. I did not get the chance to go last week, so I am excited to have a good class tonight. My instructors (a husband and wife) are on vacation (they went to Kenya to see the wife's family - she spent part of her childhood there). One of their friends from Brazil is here to fill in for them and teach all the classes, and I am excited to take classes with him.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Pictures of Deuce...
Here is my crazy puppy Deuce in his more mellow moments....
My mom is in town this weekend, so we are hoping to get some good pictures of all of us, including new ones of the dogs. Had lots of other thoughts last night about things I wanted to "blog" about, but it will have to wait for another day....
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Deuce
I am feeling what must be a common maternal feeling - guilt. I had a post about one of my dogs, Butter, and though I mentioned Deuce in the blog, it really was only in relation to what he means to Butter. Today I feel like, "Wait, Nikki, you have to explain how much you love Deuce, too! You have to give him his own introduction." So here it is.
We got Deucey while we lived in San Diego. We went to the shelter, and in a kennel next to him was a litter of lab/boxer mix puppies. Like 10 week old puppies. Everyone at the shelter that day was ooh-ing and aah-ing and gathered around that kennel. Because I always go for the older, overlooked dogs (puppies, I tell myself, will find homes; older dogs may not), we walked past the puppies with only a quick peak. Sure enough, we see this long legged black dog in the next kennel, laying on his little bed with his legs outstretched with this look like "No one loves me." We tried to get him to move up to the fence, to come up toward us. He just layed there, turned his long nose and sad eyes toward us with a look that said, "Just go on. Don't tease me. I know you want the puppies, not me." Derek and I both fell in love! He was about 2 years old, and we were thinking of an older dog (for my reasons above), but the look on Deuce's face made us change our minds. We went home, picked up Butter, had a chance for them to interact in a play area. Butter fell in love as quickly as we did. They LOVED each other. If I didn't believe in love at first sight before then, seeing how Butter came alive with Deuce made me believe in it then.
I cried that night we got Deuce and the next day because I was scared I could never love him as much as I love Butter. Sure enough, it took no time for me to learn there is really no limit to how much or how many people or dogs I can love. I love Deuce for all that he is - mischievious, demanding at times, in need of structure, affectionate, sweet, jealous, crazy, smart, eager to please, willing to do his part, lazy in the mornings but always in need of exercise, scared and brave all at once, funny. He is a sweetheart. I don't have pictures that do him justice (at least on my computer), but these will do for now. They show him in the "lazy in the morning" and "affectionate" mode.....hard to capture the crazy, energetic mode (b/c usually in those moments, my hands are too full trying to keep up with him to take pictures).
(The images will come another day...Blogger is telling me they are uploaded, but they aren't showing up....I will try tomorrow).
We got Deucey while we lived in San Diego. We went to the shelter, and in a kennel next to him was a litter of lab/boxer mix puppies. Like 10 week old puppies. Everyone at the shelter that day was ooh-ing and aah-ing and gathered around that kennel. Because I always go for the older, overlooked dogs (puppies, I tell myself, will find homes; older dogs may not), we walked past the puppies with only a quick peak. Sure enough, we see this long legged black dog in the next kennel, laying on his little bed with his legs outstretched with this look like "No one loves me." We tried to get him to move up to the fence, to come up toward us. He just layed there, turned his long nose and sad eyes toward us with a look that said, "Just go on. Don't tease me. I know you want the puppies, not me." Derek and I both fell in love! He was about 2 years old, and we were thinking of an older dog (for my reasons above), but the look on Deuce's face made us change our minds. We went home, picked up Butter, had a chance for them to interact in a play area. Butter fell in love as quickly as we did. They LOVED each other. If I didn't believe in love at first sight before then, seeing how Butter came alive with Deuce made me believe in it then.
I cried that night we got Deuce and the next day because I was scared I could never love him as much as I love Butter. Sure enough, it took no time for me to learn there is really no limit to how much or how many people or dogs I can love. I love Deuce for all that he is - mischievious, demanding at times, in need of structure, affectionate, sweet, jealous, crazy, smart, eager to please, willing to do his part, lazy in the mornings but always in need of exercise, scared and brave all at once, funny. He is a sweetheart. I don't have pictures that do him justice (at least on my computer), but these will do for now. They show him in the "lazy in the morning" and "affectionate" mode.....hard to capture the crazy, energetic mode (b/c usually in those moments, my hands are too full trying to keep up with him to take pictures).
(The images will come another day...Blogger is telling me they are uploaded, but they aren't showing up....I will try tomorrow).
Monday, November 13, 2006
Celebrity Look Alikes
So I'd like to believe mine are a bit more accurate than Derek's.....But I should note that, since the days of Party of Five, I have found Matthew Fox extremely attractive and I've always had a soft spot for Enrique Iglesias. It is a dream to know that my husband looks like both of them.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Having Babies
No, I am not having one right now. I am not pregnant. Nonetheless, this is a topic that has been central to my days recently....
I have some friends, close or once removed (ie, friends/siblings of friends), who are expecting. I have some others who already have children, and who love being parents and don't talk about anything else. I have some friends who have children and who love being parents and who love their children, but who also miss certain aspects of their old life. (Probably, everyone who has kids feels this way. But only some of my friends are brave or honest enough to admit that, and smart enough to know that it doesn't mean they love their children or choices any less). Sadly, I have at least one friend who has a child, who must love her child, but who wishes she wasn't a parent. And, I have a number of friends who are trying to have kids with no luck (yet...). These past couple weeks have been full of baby announcements, and baby conversations....Some lighthearted conversations. Some heart wrenching.
Having families, having children, is overwhelming. Especially the thought of it. What if I can't get pregnant when I want to? What if something goes wrong? What if I end up feeling the way my friend does, who really doesn't want to be a mother? What if I can't relate to my kids? What if I miss my old life - not like my friends miss theirs, but if I miss it too much? Mostly, what happens if I am not a good mother?? It scares me. It scares me even though I know I can handle what comes my way. It scares me even though I know I will be a good mother -- good in the sense of trying my hardest and putting our kids, and my relationship with Derek, as my priority. It scares me even though I know - from my friends' experiences - that there are lots of treatments to help with fertility if we do have a problem (um, though no one in my family really ever has. Did I mention I have over 60 cousins?). It scares me even though I know you just have to roll with the punches, and not get ahead of yourself. It scares me because it is just that - scary. It's entering into the unknown. The unpredictable. The world where your actions have real consequences on the people you inevitably love so much, but you are never really quite sure what actions will have what consequences.
Anyway, that being said, I love hearing from my friends about their children. I love meeting their children too. It is amazing, seeing my friends in the faces and actions of these little newborns, 1 year olds, 5 year olds. I love it. In their kids, I see only the best traits of my friends (maybe b/c I don't think too many of the friends I keep have bad traits!!). I am excited for what lies ahead of my friends' children...and happy that I know what lies ahead for them b/c I know the quality of their parents. While thinking of starting a family scares, the thought of these families also warms my heart to no end.
The other thing that warms my heart? My nephews. But I will save a discussion about those three for another blog:)
I have some friends, close or once removed (ie, friends/siblings of friends), who are expecting. I have some others who already have children, and who love being parents and don't talk about anything else. I have some friends who have children and who love being parents and who love their children, but who also miss certain aspects of their old life. (Probably, everyone who has kids feels this way. But only some of my friends are brave or honest enough to admit that, and smart enough to know that it doesn't mean they love their children or choices any less). Sadly, I have at least one friend who has a child, who must love her child, but who wishes she wasn't a parent. And, I have a number of friends who are trying to have kids with no luck (yet...). These past couple weeks have been full of baby announcements, and baby conversations....Some lighthearted conversations. Some heart wrenching.
Having families, having children, is overwhelming. Especially the thought of it. What if I can't get pregnant when I want to? What if something goes wrong? What if I end up feeling the way my friend does, who really doesn't want to be a mother? What if I can't relate to my kids? What if I miss my old life - not like my friends miss theirs, but if I miss it too much? Mostly, what happens if I am not a good mother?? It scares me. It scares me even though I know I can handle what comes my way. It scares me even though I know I will be a good mother -- good in the sense of trying my hardest and putting our kids, and my relationship with Derek, as my priority. It scares me even though I know - from my friends' experiences - that there are lots of treatments to help with fertility if we do have a problem (um, though no one in my family really ever has. Did I mention I have over 60 cousins?). It scares me even though I know you just have to roll with the punches, and not get ahead of yourself. It scares me because it is just that - scary. It's entering into the unknown. The unpredictable. The world where your actions have real consequences on the people you inevitably love so much, but you are never really quite sure what actions will have what consequences.
Anyway, that being said, I love hearing from my friends about their children. I love meeting their children too. It is amazing, seeing my friends in the faces and actions of these little newborns, 1 year olds, 5 year olds. I love it. In their kids, I see only the best traits of my friends (maybe b/c I don't think too many of the friends I keep have bad traits!!). I am excited for what lies ahead of my friends' children...and happy that I know what lies ahead for them b/c I know the quality of their parents. While thinking of starting a family scares, the thought of these families also warms my heart to no end.
The other thing that warms my heart? My nephews. But I will save a discussion about those three for another blog:)
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Good Days
Is this three days in a row that I have blogged? I think so. I am getting into this! I keep thinking of things I would want to share if I had the chance to see certain people, certain friends...things that would be fun to chat about if we were out having a drink or hanging out at home. Anyway, so exciting. I am on a role.
Yesterday I went to capoeira....it was great. I did SO well. I played so well. You can learn certain "skills" with capoeira - different kicks, different "schivas" (ways to dodge kicks), different moves -- but really you learn by playing with a partner in the middle of a circle. Kind of like sparring, but the goal is not to hurt or even really touch each other. It is to "have a conversation" with your moves - a back and forth. It is so much harder than it sounds like. Anyway, I always do well with the skills part of things...I am a good student and a good athlete, so I get what we are supposed to do. But then it goes out the window when I am in the circle (the "roda") playing one on one with someone. But last night it didn't. I was playing so well, and having so much fun. I was responding well and keeping eye contact and was able to anticipate moves really well. Anyway, it was a blast. I think there are a number of reasons why it was so good. First, everyone just has goods days and bad days. Sometimes you are "on" and sometimes "off." It happens. Second, when I was at my old job, i sort of felt like I needed capoeira. It wasn't so social, I was in my office alone a lot. Not a ton of interaction with people. So rather than just leave work and run - by myself - i needed something more interactive and also artistic. And i found capoiera. But that was the problem, I needed it. Now, I don't need it so much. My job is VERY social, very interactive (exhaustingly so). I am talking and interactive all day long. And it is more artistic (as artistic as law can be) and more fun. But now I go because I really just want to. It is a huge belief of mine - things are so much better when you want them instead of need them. I always say it to Derek - I want him, I don't need him. It sounds bad, I suppose, but it is not. Whenever we are fighting, he often says "You don't need me. I am leaving." Or some other version of that. And I say, "No, I don't need you. I just want you." And, suddenly, we aren't fighting anymore. So I think that change has made me more playful at capoeria -- and playful, lightheartedness is an essential ingredient to "play" capoeira. And, not to be overlooked, I am feeling much more lightedhearted after a little health scare at the end of summer/ this fall. When I finally had the lump removed, and it was officially benign, I felt a tremendous weight off my heart and mind. I didn't realize how much it was worrying me.....So, in any event, I went home last night exhausted and so happy with myself:)
Today and tomorrow I am working at NFL Films, which is in New Jersey, about 1 1/2 hours from NYC. So i get to take small road trips each day. Fun! I got to listen to 106.7 Lite FM all the way down.....all love songs. My dream. It is the equivalent of KYXY Love Songs in San Diego, which was my official station. Each city has one.....and I love every song they play. Highlights of my drive - Bob Seger "We Have Tonight..."; Dan Hill "Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much,..."; "Lady In Red" by I forget who, but I love; "Crazy Love" by Van Morrison; "Faithful" by Journey....I had Eddie Rabbit & Crystal Gale (i forget the name of the song...); "Nobody knows but me" by the Tony Rich Project; Lisa Loeb "Stay"; "Goodbye my lover" by James Blunt; "Collide" by Howie Day; "The Rose" by Bette Midler.....and so many more. I love those songs. I thrive off of them. I could go on forever about ones I didn't hear, but am know thinking of. I love when I get to listen to them and not having someone (ie, Derek) complaining (although he does withstand them for very long periods of time, I will give him credit).
Then i also listened to my John Legend CD, or parts of it. There are certain parts of "Ordinary People" that I literally can't sing out loud to b/c it makes me cry, it is such a poignant song. One verse goes something like:"I hang up, you call. We rise and we fall. And we feel like just walking away. As our love advances, We take second chances. Though it's not a fantasy, I Still want you to stay." I can't sing that verse without getting all choked up!! Derek laughs at me, but it is powerful to me b/c it is real. Anyway, I love getting to take car rides, and singing my heart out outloud (with my certified terrrible voice) and letting the cheesy songs get to me as much as the really good, critically acclaimed ones.
So this all has made for a few good days:)
Yesterday I went to capoeira....it was great. I did SO well. I played so well. You can learn certain "skills" with capoeira - different kicks, different "schivas" (ways to dodge kicks), different moves -- but really you learn by playing with a partner in the middle of a circle. Kind of like sparring, but the goal is not to hurt or even really touch each other. It is to "have a conversation" with your moves - a back and forth. It is so much harder than it sounds like. Anyway, I always do well with the skills part of things...I am a good student and a good athlete, so I get what we are supposed to do. But then it goes out the window when I am in the circle (the "roda") playing one on one with someone. But last night it didn't. I was playing so well, and having so much fun. I was responding well and keeping eye contact and was able to anticipate moves really well. Anyway, it was a blast. I think there are a number of reasons why it was so good. First, everyone just has goods days and bad days. Sometimes you are "on" and sometimes "off." It happens. Second, when I was at my old job, i sort of felt like I needed capoeira. It wasn't so social, I was in my office alone a lot. Not a ton of interaction with people. So rather than just leave work and run - by myself - i needed something more interactive and also artistic. And i found capoiera. But that was the problem, I needed it. Now, I don't need it so much. My job is VERY social, very interactive (exhaustingly so). I am talking and interactive all day long. And it is more artistic (as artistic as law can be) and more fun. But now I go because I really just want to. It is a huge belief of mine - things are so much better when you want them instead of need them. I always say it to Derek - I want him, I don't need him. It sounds bad, I suppose, but it is not. Whenever we are fighting, he often says "You don't need me. I am leaving." Or some other version of that. And I say, "No, I don't need you. I just want you." And, suddenly, we aren't fighting anymore. So I think that change has made me more playful at capoeria -- and playful, lightheartedness is an essential ingredient to "play" capoeira. And, not to be overlooked, I am feeling much more lightedhearted after a little health scare at the end of summer/ this fall. When I finally had the lump removed, and it was officially benign, I felt a tremendous weight off my heart and mind. I didn't realize how much it was worrying me.....So, in any event, I went home last night exhausted and so happy with myself:)
Today and tomorrow I am working at NFL Films, which is in New Jersey, about 1 1/2 hours from NYC. So i get to take small road trips each day. Fun! I got to listen to 106.7 Lite FM all the way down.....all love songs. My dream. It is the equivalent of KYXY Love Songs in San Diego, which was my official station. Each city has one.....and I love every song they play. Highlights of my drive - Bob Seger "We Have Tonight..."; Dan Hill "Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much,..."; "Lady In Red" by I forget who, but I love; "Crazy Love" by Van Morrison; "Faithful" by Journey....I had Eddie Rabbit & Crystal Gale (i forget the name of the song...); "Nobody knows but me" by the Tony Rich Project; Lisa Loeb "Stay"; "Goodbye my lover" by James Blunt; "Collide" by Howie Day; "The Rose" by Bette Midler.....and so many more. I love those songs. I thrive off of them. I could go on forever about ones I didn't hear, but am know thinking of. I love when I get to listen to them and not having someone (ie, Derek) complaining (although he does withstand them for very long periods of time, I will give him credit).
Then i also listened to my John Legend CD, or parts of it. There are certain parts of "Ordinary People" that I literally can't sing out loud to b/c it makes me cry, it is such a poignant song. One verse goes something like:"I hang up, you call. We rise and we fall. And we feel like just walking away. As our love advances, We take second chances. Though it's not a fantasy, I Still want you to stay." I can't sing that verse without getting all choked up!! Derek laughs at me, but it is powerful to me b/c it is real. Anyway, I love getting to take car rides, and singing my heart out outloud (with my certified terrrible voice) and letting the cheesy songs get to me as much as the really good, critically acclaimed ones.
So this all has made for a few good days:)
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Friends
One of my oldest friends, and certainly one of my dearest friends, Agatha, has said how nice it was to read my blog and said how she felt she could "hear my voice" saying certain things while she read it. Oh, I loved hearing that. Maybe she just said that b/c I listed her as my most fun friend to go out with, but I still loved it nonetheless. Mostly b/c I miss her sooooooo much and I wish we could talk to each other more often, if not actually see each other more often.
So I am thinking of her, and many of my friends, instead of getting started on my freaking "to do" list at work. I am thinking of how I met, and how our friendships grew, and it makes me so nostalgic and warm hearted and happy. When I first met Agatha we were 13 or 14, and I didn't like her at all. Although I was probably intimidated by her, I of course wasn't self aware enough to know that then. And our friendship has changed and moved and grown. It is so perfect and so easy. And it cracks me up when I think of the first few months I knew her and how our friendship grew....
Then I was also thinking of my friend Dave. I didn't like him when we first met (I was a senior in HS and he a freshmen in college) and he certainly didn't like me. Sure enough, we quickly became such close friends and the type of friends that will be life long. That cracks me up too. I love telling people how Dave - by his own admission - hated me when he first met me. I guess I don't always make a good impression! Dave is also the person who has given me the most backhanded compliment ever in my life..."Nikki, I have never found you REMOTELY attractive, ....but you look very good." I know what he meant when he said it....that on that particular night, I looked pretty and he had no agenda for saying that, but it was hilarious.
Most of my other friends I have liked right away, at least in some capacity. That makes Agatha and Dave even more special to me....
So I am thinking of her, and many of my friends, instead of getting started on my freaking "to do" list at work. I am thinking of how I met, and how our friendships grew, and it makes me so nostalgic and warm hearted and happy. When I first met Agatha we were 13 or 14, and I didn't like her at all. Although I was probably intimidated by her, I of course wasn't self aware enough to know that then. And our friendship has changed and moved and grown. It is so perfect and so easy. And it cracks me up when I think of the first few months I knew her and how our friendship grew....
Then I was also thinking of my friend Dave. I didn't like him when we first met (I was a senior in HS and he a freshmen in college) and he certainly didn't like me. Sure enough, we quickly became such close friends and the type of friends that will be life long. That cracks me up too. I love telling people how Dave - by his own admission - hated me when he first met me. I guess I don't always make a good impression! Dave is also the person who has given me the most backhanded compliment ever in my life..."Nikki, I have never found you REMOTELY attractive, ....but you look very good." I know what he meant when he said it....that on that particular night, I looked pretty and he had no agenda for saying that, but it was hilarious.
Most of my other friends I have liked right away, at least in some capacity. That makes Agatha and Dave even more special to me....
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
My Old Puppy
Have a new renewed interest in posting a blog....Still not sharing with many people, because I need to get comfortable with this for now....but I figured I will keep trying and one day be comfortable (as I am told I will be). There will be events in life that will seem appropriate....and, really, it comes down to the fact that I just want to do it!
Today, I have been thinking of my dog, Butter, all day. I have two -- Butter and Deuce. Butter is my old puppy. We got him when he was about 5 or 6, and now he is a solid 12 years old. For a big dog, it is a ripe old age but he is going strong. He still goes on his three walks a day (which means climbing our stairs three times a day) and never resists going out, despite what must be some soreness in his hips and spine. He decides a little earlier than he used to that he is not up for the long walks, but he has always had a mind of his own when it comes to deciding when it is time to turn around and go home on walks. And what really keeps him young is his best friend, Deuce. They play constantly - constantly - and Butter loves him to death. Butter longs to play with him long after Deuce (who is a hyper 4 year old) is over it. And Butter just loves Deuce. He loves to kiss him hello, to lay his head on Deuce's paw, to nudge up against Deuce. It is so adorable it breaks my heart.
Today I just was thinking of what life will be like without him one day, and I quite literally broke into hysterical crying. The tears rose from the pit of my stomach - and I literally couldn't quite handle the emotion. I love him so much, and he really is this amazing presence in my life, my husband's and even in our marriage. He loves "family time" and is never happier than when we are all together, especially if we are laughing and smiling. He is my gentle giant, and I wish that everyone had a little bit of him in their life. Most of my friends do know him, but I wish I could share him with everyone. This post is my small way of doing that.
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