Good Days

Is this three days in a row that I have blogged? I think so. I am getting into this! I keep thinking of things I would want to share if I had the chance to see certain people, certain friends...things that would be fun to chat about if we were out having a drink or hanging out at home. Anyway, so exciting. I am on a role.

Yesterday I went to capoeira....it was great. I did SO well. I played so well. You can learn certain "skills" with capoeira - different kicks, different "schivas" (ways to dodge kicks), different moves -- but really you learn by playing with a partner in the middle of a circle. Kind of like sparring, but the goal is not to hurt or even really touch each other. It is to "have a conversation" with your moves - a back and forth. It is so much harder than it sounds like. Anyway, I always do well with the skills part of things...I am a good student and a good athlete, so I get what we are supposed to do. But then it goes out the window when I am in the circle (the "roda") playing one on one with someone. But last night it didn't. I was playing so well, and having so much fun. I was responding well and keeping eye contact and was able to anticipate moves really well. Anyway, it was a blast. I think there are a number of reasons why it was so good. First, everyone just has goods days and bad days. Sometimes you are "on" and sometimes "off." It happens. Second, when I was at my old job, i sort of felt like I needed capoeira. It wasn't so social, I was in my office alone a lot. Not a ton of interaction with people. So rather than just leave work and run - by myself - i needed something more interactive and also artistic. And i found capoiera. But that was the problem, I needed it. Now, I don't need it so much. My job is VERY social, very interactive (exhaustingly so). I am talking and interactive all day long. And it is more artistic (as artistic as law can be) and more fun. But now I go because I really just want to. It is a huge belief of mine - things are so much better when you want them instead of need them. I always say it to Derek - I want him, I don't need him. It sounds bad, I suppose, but it is not. Whenever we are fighting, he often says "You don't need me. I am leaving." Or some other version of that. And I say, "No, I don't need you. I just want you." And, suddenly, we aren't fighting anymore. So I think that change has made me more playful at capoeria -- and playful, lightheartedness is an essential ingredient to "play" capoeira. And, not to be overlooked, I am feeling much more lightedhearted after a little health scare at the end of summer/ this fall. When I finally had the lump removed, and it was officially benign, I felt a tremendous weight off my heart and mind. I didn't realize how much it was worrying me.....So, in any event, I went home last night exhausted and so happy with myself:)

Today and tomorrow I am working at NFL Films, which is in New Jersey, about 1 1/2 hours from NYC. So i get to take small road trips each day. Fun! I got to listen to 106.7 Lite FM all the way down.....all love songs. My dream. It is the equivalent of KYXY Love Songs in San Diego, which was my official station. Each city has one.....and I love every song they play. Highlights of my drive - Bob Seger "We Have Tonight..."; Dan Hill "Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much,..."; "Lady In Red" by I forget who, but I love; "Crazy Love" by Van Morrison; "Faithful" by Journey....I had Eddie Rabbit & Crystal Gale (i forget the name of the song...); "Nobody knows but me" by the Tony Rich Project; Lisa Loeb "Stay"; "Goodbye my lover" by James Blunt; "Collide" by Howie Day; "The Rose" by Bette Midler.....and so many more. I love those songs. I thrive off of them. I could go on forever about ones I didn't hear, but am know thinking of. I love when I get to listen to them and not having someone (ie, Derek) complaining (although he does withstand them for very long periods of time, I will give him credit).

Then i also listened to my John Legend CD, or parts of it. There are certain parts of "Ordinary People" that I literally can't sing out loud to b/c it makes me cry, it is such a poignant song. One verse goes something like:"I hang up, you call. We rise and we fall. And we feel like just walking away. As our love advances, We take second chances. Though it's not a fantasy, I Still want you to stay." I can't sing that verse without getting all choked up!! Derek laughs at me, but it is powerful to me b/c it is real. Anyway, I love getting to take car rides, and singing my heart out outloud (with my certified terrrible voice) and letting the cheesy songs get to me as much as the really good, critically acclaimed ones.

So this all has made for a few good days:)